


It’s all over but the singing

by TheWinsomeWasp



Category: Glee
Genre: Gen, M/M, OCs - Freeform, Puck-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-02 17:13:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 31,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6574948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWinsomeWasp/pseuds/TheWinsomeWasp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Noah Puckerman is one of the top sales representatives for a California advertising company. He’s fifty six, fit, a little lonely at the moment but given where he came from he can’t complain. He’s outlived most of his family. So if he’d been aware that his life was about to be ended by a sixteen year old prostitute he would have probably told the kid no hard feelings because he’s walked in his shoes. He’d have said, just try not to fuck up so much in the future. After all he’s been there, he remembered what it was to be like to be young and pretty much with just himself to depend on. But the kid regretted his actions and that kid’s wish, to trade places with the man he just killed, was answered. The man who died at his feet in that elevator is catapulted back to when he was sixteen and learned his life was less like a letter to Penthouse and more like a cautionary tale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Glee Prompt Meme](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Glee+Prompt+Meme).



> This will not be 400K plus (really, no really) Yes I did my own prompt – think of it as priming the pump.
> 
> Needless to say I own nothing recognizable and all Glee related characters belong to their appropriate corporations and original creators. That said I’ve had do-overs on the mind and figured if ever there was a character who needed to have one it was this one. This pretty much goes AU after Finn died as of S5, I didn’t watch the later seasons or the Rawling-esk peek into the future. So pretty much assume that once he joined the Air Force Puck only kept in touch with Jake, Coach Beiste and Carole.
> 
> Warning: a lot of well-loved characters don’t come out in the best light, but remember perspective people, while not perfect, Puck only knew what they showed to him and most of them left it on a pretty sour note after Finn’s memorial. So to him they’re people he kind of thought of as friends when he was young and then they turned out not to be. Also, many morally questionable and frankly horrible actions where taken by all the characters and played in a comedic light - the fact that underage prostitution was one of those never set well with me.

Dear God. He pinched himself hard to see if he woke up. It hurt; so not a dream. Hallucination? Noah Puckerman blinked at his reflection as his brain tried to reboot like some ancient DOS drive. Some random woman was just outside the master bath that he was currently freaking out in and he couldn’t have put a name to her if someone had a gun to his head. He was a kid; decent definition to the arms but he was skinny and that ridiculous Mohawk was back. What the fuck was that woman doing having sex with someone that looked -- that was this young? Seriously, he couldn’t be older than Beth was when she – and as always his mind skittered away from the loss of his daughter. Shelby had given Beth the life she promised with an attentive mother, good schooling, and safe home but one sunny day in a car with other teens his beautiful baby girl had her life snuffed out. Noah had never married nor had any other children. He’d left his slutty ways behind in his teens and become a serial monogamist flipping back and forth between male and female lovers but once they had lost Beth he’d pretty he much focused on work.

After the Air Force, with an online degree, he’d gone into advertising and been very successful. He had honed the abilities he had as a kid while a recruiter and could pretty much close any deal worth closing. The last thing he remembered was some kid. Some scared kid with a knife. Fuck he’d been in an elevator going up to his hotel room in San Diego and when the kid jumped on just as the door closed he’d thought some loser at the hotel had ordered a prostitute. Noah had just finished having drinks with a colleague from the corporate networking event at the hotel bar. He was there for an awards banquet and he remembered hoping it wasn’t anyone from the company he worked for sending for underage servicing. The kid had asked for his wallet, he’d said sure, and that was the last thing he remembered.

So what had happened? How had he gone from a fit fifty six year old man to, God, was he even sixteen? Hadn’t he been fourteen years old when he started ‘cleaning pools’ during the summer before freshman year? That phrase hadn’t always been a euphemism for prostitution. In the beginning he hadn’t even made the connection between the sex and the extra money. Sure he cleaned pools but the amount of money and alcohol he received was for services rendered other than skimming the surface and dumping in some chemicals. It had taken a while for him to catch on that that was what he was; a prostitute. As an adult and a father he found the idea of women three times his age using him as a life sized sex toy revolting, especially since he’d been a minor. He’d quit before Beth was born so if he was still servicing cougars it had to be before his sophomore year in high school. He’d turned sixteen the July before his sophomore year, if this was before freshman year he would have just turned fifteen.

Beth. That meant she hadn’t even been conceived. Quinn hadn’t come over to his place to get drunk until around the time the school year started. If that never happened… He couldn’t think about that now he needed to get the fuck out of here, ditch the MILF. No way would he know when and where he was supposed to be next. He never wrote much shit down; he had an idea of his client list but usually just remembered the times in his head. Wait, there was a day planner, a cheap calendar he had in his room at his mom’s place. Fuck it, he was not tricking for cash. These rich bored housewives should be in jail. His brain skidded to a stop. He’d never been to juvie. His record was clean. He was a minor. Would the fucking Barney Fifes of the Lima PD do anything? One of the reasons, besides Beth, he’d stopped, well prostituting himself, was he knew it would send him back to juvie, or could, if the police found out how long he’d been doing it, it could get Hannah pulled from his mom’s custody. Him too, of course, but he’d been more worried about his sister. But things hadn’t worked out so well for Hannah keeping her in their mom’s care had they? His mother’s absent neglect had escalated once he joined the Air Force and Hannah had drifted in with a bad crowd, one of the rich kids whose mom he used to bang actually had got her into heroin and Hannah had died of an overdose before reaching her twenty first birthday; just another fucking waste.

Who hadn’t thought if I only knew then what I know now? But could he make a difference? Could he change it, and should he? Would their lives turn out better if social services investigated? Lima wasn’t a big town it wasn’t like they had much in the way of a support system. They already got housing assistance and food stamps from the state, chances were they wouldn’t be pulled in for anything short of physical or sexual abuse and the authorities thinking his mom was involved. He and Hannah could get separated and sent to some facility in Dayton or Toledo or Columbus most likely. But would that be worse than what happened to her? From what he remembered of Juvie half the kids there came from those kinds of places. But Hannah was young, she might even get adopted. If this was a second chance, if he was only here for a day or a week or until he resolved something to make peace with the afterlife what would he want? Getting Hannah away from his mom seemed to be a priority. It was something he could do. Beth wasn’t something in his power that was all still in Quinn’s hands and had always been. But his mom had always been bitter, vacillating between playing the part the single-mother-martyr who sacrificed her dreams and youth for her children and then being physically and emotionally unavailable to her kids. The fact he had whored himself out for years and she only noticed when the money stopped coming in should have clued him into the fact she wasn’t fit to raise Hannah by herself.

So maybe he should turn himself in. Hell, wasn’t it this MILF the one who passed his number on to friends at the club? Essentially she was functioning as a pimp anyway, not getting a cut of the cash but she used her access to him to leverage her standing with a certain crowd. If he checked his book, refreshed his memory if nothing else the cougars would think twice before passing around the next piece of jailbait.

Wouldn’t ending up in some group home in Dayton or something be worth it? He wouldn’t be around for Quinn to cheat with, but if it was meant to happen she would still get pregnant but maybe with someone else or maybe she’d finally give it up for Finn. Of course from what he remembered Quinn had picked him specifically because he wasn’t Finn. Quinn was cut from the same cloth as the country club wives who slept with the pool boy. In her mind if she had had sex with Finn, he might realize she liked it and then he might expect her to do it again. In Quinn’s world she could get sex from good old Puck and still have Finn jumping through hoops and treating her like some sacred virgin. So if she did get pregnant, to someone besides Noah, would Beth still be Beth? Souls really had no bearing on genetics. She might not have his brown eyes or curls but she’d still be Beth, even if he and Quinn weren’t her parents.

“Noah?” The woman’s voice called.

He opened the door and smiled. He said, “Just cleaning up.”

“No need to rush off,” she said.

He really needed a name for her but it had been forty fucking years. He leered and said, “If only that were the case but I have to get home.”

“Listen, I know I said we don’t need you next Friday because we’ll be out of town but can you squeeze in another cleaning before we leave. Not on the weekend of course but if you could come by Monday we’re not leaving until Wednesday,” she said.

He shook his head and said, “Sorry, I’m booked.”

“Noah, I’m sure you can move an appointment to when I’m out of town, my recommendations have netted you quite a few clients. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to get the reputation for being difficult,” she said, softening her words with a smile.

Kohn, he thought, Sydney Kohn. Was this cunt seriously trying to pressure him when she was the one who had committed a felony? Yeah, she was the one who had subtly driven the point home that he worked for her, that he needed the money and if any of the husbands found out it could go badly for him. And at sixteen it had never occurred to him to point out just how much more badly it could go for her. He hid his incredulousness with a smirk and said, “What time Monday, I’ll have to move some stuff?”

He headed back to his mom’s place and checked the date on his computer. It was crappy even for this decade. The phone he had died with had more memory, better speed and higher quality graphics. But he didn’t have his phone; he was apparently in July 2008; nearly forty years in the past. His mother and sister were alive. It was Friday, ten thirty in the morning. He’d slept with at least one woman today and had two more in his calendar for that day. The weekend was open because that was usually when husbands were home and he had three appointments scheduled for Monday.

He needed to make some decisions and he needed to make them fast. He did not want to keep whoring himself for booze and cash, or for anything really. Unfortunately his mom counted on him if not contributing at least offsetting the burden he created. Kids were not supposed to be burdens. She should have wondered what the fuck he was doing at fourteen to get the kind of money he had. All she’d asked was if he was selling drugs, one time, and then never brought it up again.

So, how to do this? Just stop? Walking into the police station wouldn’t work; it was his word against all of theirs. He needed to get caught. Sydney Kohn had gotten caught; it was after he’d graduated, but it had been the talk of Lima around the time he enlisted. Her husband had thought she was fooling around. He’d set up a web cam expecting to catch her with her tennis pro or the gardener and instead found her with one of her sons’ friends. If he was remembering it correctly the old man divorced her, got custody of the kids, he didn’t know if she did time but she would have been a registered sex offender for the rest of her days.

He looked up her husband’s car dealerships online. He had them in both Dayton and Toledo. There was an email address for him, but Noah wondered if he had an assistant screening it. He toyed with the idea of heading to the library to use one of their computers as he composed a brief email. Basically he stated that Mr. Kohn’s wife was having an affair and that if Mr. Kohn wanted proof he should set up a webcam to see what she did when he wasn’t at home on Monday. He rewrote it a couple times. He tried to make it sound like it was from one concerned father to another in the subject line and kept the details vague but stated this could help in any custody battle if they divorced. He used his skills in advertising to reading it from several points of view, a police investigator, the husband, even Sydney Kohn, and it sounded like one of the neighbors had been watching the house. The grammar and word choice were pretty far from his sixteen year old self so it shouldn’t tip off anyone as to who sent it. He then looked up the email addresses for the county sheriff and one for the FBI intending to blind copy them on the email.

He searched the room and dug out his various hordes of cash and took inventory of all his resources. Not that he didn’t – well he was closer to sixty that fifty and it was time to call a trick a trick – service some of his clients during the school year but most of them, the ones who thought he was older assumed he was only in town for the summer; as if anyone would summer in Lima. So he usually had to acquire as much as possible in the summer and he put stuff aside for expected expenses, clothes, things his mom couldn’t afford for Hannah, school fees and costs associated with football.

Football, fuck – he checked the day planner. Football camp started in another week. He’d have given anything to see Coach Beiste again but they still had Tanaka. He’d been an okay running back and an okay player – not that his focus had been on the game what with the drama of his teens and all the pressure he’d been under at home. Still they’d made it to State senior year and if he pulled his focus from crime and being so concerned by what a bunch of Lima losers thought of him he could get his grades up and maybe get some kind of deal on college somewhere. If he was still in Lima even if he didn’t go back to being dead, which he thought he might be, he could get hauled unto the system. He never thought of himself as ‘at risk’ when he lived through these years but given what happened to Hannah and quite a few of the kids like them from the wrong side of the tracks he really lucked out. But his life had been pretty high pressure after the Air Force. He’d lived well, been comfortable, but maybe this time he could be happy; could at the very least make music for someone other than himself. He had decades of playing guitar and writing songs for himself. He’d got one of those ridiculous computerized keyboards and learned to play piano; even taken some voice classes at Tan’s insistence.

He’d lived with Tan, a martial arts instructor, for seven years back in his thirties right after Beth died. They had remained friends even after they broke up, Noah had told him he’d always been better at being a friend than a boyfriend. Tan thought it was a brush off but been surprised how close they’d stayed. Tan had held him together, helped him rebuild himself, after losing first Finn, then Hannah, and finally Beth. But he remembered from when they were together story told as pillow talk about a warrior who after a pitched battle washed up from the currents of a river with nothing. Tan had done voices, one for the curious boy who found him and one for the grizzled warrior explaining that while he didn’t have his weapons, he knew how to fight, while he didn’t have his fine war horse, he knew how to train one and how to ride, while he didn’t have his instrument, he could make music, and while he’d lost all his scrolls he still could read and write and possessed the knowledge the scrolls had contained. Even with just a high school education, Noah had got the moral of the tale. The things of value were inside you, not the trappings of success. So here he was, in the shitty subsidized housing in the body of a sixteen year old whore who was more trouble to the people in his life than he was worth. But he hadn’t remained a sixteen year old whore and he could do better. He’d always thought that if he knew then what he knew later he would have done better; maybe not been such an asshat.

Finn’s death had shaken him and the thought that his friend was still alive, still had his life in front of him. And that maybe this time Noah himself wouldn’t be one more thing that had hurt Finn. Maybe without him being a bad influence, Finn could get a decent football scholarship and get the hell out of Lima as well. God he was going to have to see him again, see them all again - as kids. His last memory of a lot of them was, well, there was a reason he hadn’t bothered to stay in touch. Fuck, Santana would be at her worse, still striking out at everyone because she hadn’t accepted herself. Finn deserved a better first time. Hopefully Noah could steer also him away from the clusterfuck of the self-absorbed Broadway Princess that had jerked him around for years. And Hummel, well at least he had a reason to toss the prick into a dumpster or two. Yeah he’d been a bitchy grieving kid striking out but Noah had been a grieving kid too and a fucking piece of paper along with two years of living under the same roof did not measure against the fact Finn and he had grown up leaning on one another for a dozen years before Kurt had worked up the nerve to start stalking Finn.

Tabling that train wreck of thought Noah decided, just to be cautious to head for the library where he established a new Gmail account and sent the email he had composed. He called his other appointments and canceled for the day saying he was under the weather and didn’t want to risk infecting them. Monday, after servicing Sydney for the cameras he would call the rest of his clients and tell them someone he was being treated for an STD and that they should get screened. That should send a panic though the country club cougars. Because he didn’t want to risk sending a second email, he bcc’ed to the sheriff and FBI to insure that if the husband chose not to turn his wife in then they would both go down.

Not bad for a day’s work, he thought. For now he had money in his pocket, and a gym bag holding his horde that he needed to stash somewhere he could get it but not anywhere a police raid might turn up. Finn would have a place he could shove it, even if it was under his bed. Finn Hudson was alive and if this was some near-death hallucination, well he was going to spend the rest of the day eating pizza and playing video games with the best friend he hadn’t seen in forty years.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

“We’re carb loading,” Finn said around a mouthful of pizza crust.

Carole Hudson looked young. She’d never looked young the few times they’d met face-to-face after she lost her baby boy. She had been the only one besides Coach and Jake he’d kept in touch with over the years. Hell, she’d been as much his mother as his own, more when it came to good advice and showing him how to be responsible. She smiled, shook her head and said, “Oh honey, it’s a beautiful day and you two have probably spent all of it here in the dark playing video games.”

“I worked this morning Mrs. H and we’re going running later to try and get used to it before training camp starts,” Noah said.

Finn looked surprised but just nodded as if he’d been aware of the plan.

Carole smiled and said, “I see you had pizza but can I interest you boys in a tuna casserole?”

They both nodded and started to clear away the empty pizza boxes and various wrappers from cookies and chips. He’d have never made it to adulthood if she hadn’t fed him almost every time he visited. It had certainly helped his mother’s grocery bills. One of the reasons he’d hated Rachel’s vegan crap was he’d pretty much lived on beans in one form or another for most of his meals at home.

They thundered up the stairs and careened into Finn’s bedroom. Noah threw himself onto the bed as Finn dug around in his closet for shoes and stuff. One huge sneaker clunked on the floor after being tossed over his shoulder and Finn’s voice was kind of muffled when he said, “Why’d you tell her we were going to run?”

“Ah, because I don’t want to puke once Coach has us run laps and I haven’t been keeping in condition over the summer,” Noah said.

Finn spun around on his bottom and smelled a pair of socks before putting them on. He said, “I thought you were working on you guns.”

“My guns yeah, but that’s all show, I really need to get fit, especially since all Coach does is sit in the golf cart and have us do calisthenics until we collapse,” Noah said.

Finn squinted up from lacing up his shoes and said, “What else is he going to have us do?”

“I’daknow,” Noah mumbled as he stretched out sideways across Finn’s bed, “something that will help us win a game? Get the offensive line to work together and hold off the other team for the ten fucking seconds it would take for you to snap off a pass so we could score or at least make first down? If he spent a fraction of the time actually coaching us as he does chasing Miss. Pillsbury we might have a shot at getting out of this town, maybe not a big ten school but somewhere. Wouldn’t it be nice if some place would offer even a partial ride? I bet it would make your mom happy.”

“Well, yeah that would be cool,” Finn said, “But we kind of suck.”

“No,” Noah said, “we don’t really, we just have a crap coach. Think about it. Every school in Ohio gets the same random assortment of students. The geeks go to chess club, AV club, glee club, the jocks fill out the sports teams, it’s not like high schools have recruiters, they don’t pull in their football teams from all over like colleges do. Once you get to college then the players were selected because they’re the best players that school could get but at high school it all comes down to the coaching. We need a better coach.”

“So we have to coach ourselves?” Finn said. And yeah he could be the most naïve guy you ever met but he was a born leader and Finn had pulled together glee club when most of the time they wanted to choke each other. Lord knew it hadn’t been Mr. Shue. When Shue wasn’t having some personal crisis he was trying to get on stage with them to relive his glory days.

Noah had always tried to envision what kind of man Finn Hudson would have been if he lived. He would have done something, given back that belief that everyone was special. He would have been a damn good teacher, or football coach, or father. He might even have been one of those teachers who noticed the kid in the at risk situation before it was too late. What he actually said was, “Ah, yeah I guess. Do you think they have junk like that at the library? Could we get a book that tells us like ‘How to Coach Football for Dummys’?

They ran for about forty minutes and then came back and Carol made them eat outside at the picnic table because they smelled. Noah went home to shower. Looking in the mirror he shuddered, the ‘hawk had to go he looked ridiculous, but it could wait until right before football camp. He made and ate a second dinner with Hannah and his ma got home before Finn picked him up in his truck and they went to the mall to meet Quinn and company and to catch a flick. While waiting for the girls Noah steered Finn into the bookstore, not somewhere they usually hung out, and Finn looked confused until the college lit major at the counter offered to help them and Noah asked if they had a book on coaching football. They didn’t but apparently they could order just about anything. The ‘For Dummys’ company made one that wasn’t in stock so Finn ordered it, paying less than twenty dollars for the cost of the book and having it shipped to his home. Noah hoped Carole got the mail that day because her face when she was found out Finn had ordered a book would be hilarious.

They met the girls and headed over to the Cineplex connected to the west entrance. Santana was in rare form and Brittney was odd; well Brittney was always odd but now she’s looking at him and kind of squinting. Quinn wanted to see some chick flick and she was trying to manipulate Finn like always but Finn was doing that thing where when he heard something he didn’t agree with he just pretended not to understand to avoid conflict. It always bothered Noah that neither Quinn nor Rachel caught on and that both of them had treated Finn like he was slightly dim. Santana wasn’t backing Quinn up because Brittney wanted to see a kiddy movie. Suddenly Brittney kind of jump/hugged him and nearly knocked him over. He hugged back and for once Santana didn’t slug him, probably because he didn’t try to cop a feel.

“I missed you,” Brittney said.

Her legs wrapped around his waist and her face was buried in his neck and he said, “I missed you to, Britt. Coach Sylvester keeping you busy with all the practices over the summer?”

She nodded but didn’t say anything. He let her silky hair fall over his fingers and shot Santana a look he hoped said ‘help’. Brittney’s hair smelled flowery and he had no idea what happened to her after high school. For one brief moment he wanted to ask ‘how long has it been since you saw me’, because maybe, just maybe she was like him. But it’s Brittney and sanity and her have really only ever been on a nodding acquaintance so he just kept being Puck and said, “Is it because ‘Dark Knight sounds scary? I’ll change my vote to the kiddy movie if you want – it’s just a movie I don’t care.”

They finally agreed on ‘The Dark Knight’ the girls conceding because of Heath Ledger and Christian Bale and because Finn and he had been pulling for ‘Hell Boy’ but once Noah offered to go see ‘Wall-E’ they all decided to resolve their differences. He spotted Mercedes and Kurt ahead of them in line and it looked like they were heading to see ‘Mama Mia’ and it was weird, weird that none of them were friends or friendish, which is probably all they ever were. High school, it was of a lot like sharing a jail cell, not the best way to choose friends.

After they paid for tickets, because Brittney hadn’t let go of him and was still clinging like a lemur, he sat at one of the tables in the theater lobby. Surrounded by noisy first person shooter games and people finishing up the overpriced pretzels and hot dogs that the theater sold, he tried to get Brittney to talk. Finn went to hit the can before the movie and Quinn was waiting in line for popcorn but if Brittney cried Santana was standing close enough to slug him.

“Did you not want to see a movie? We can get our money back and… I don’t know its Lima, so bowling? mini golf?” he asked.

Santana sat/leaned against the table and said, “Britt-Britt, what’s wrong you were fine before we got here?” She sounded worried under her exasperated bravado. Noah noticed Mercedes trying to be all casual and eavesdrop, but Kurt wasn’t in sight and had probably followed Finn to the men’s room. God, Noah had forgot what a creeper Kurt had been sophomore year.

Brittney pulled back, still virtually straddling him but he’s still Puck here and that wouldn’t at all be out of character. She’s not crying but she looked so sad and she said, “I missed everyone. Everyone went away. You went away.”

And it hit him, she knew, maybe she knew the first time when they lived it before. God knew she was always spouting incomprehensible truisms that had an uncanny knack of being right if you were savvy enough to interpret them. And Santana was glaring and Mercedes was right there less than two feet away pretending to read the pamphlet of coming attractions and he wished that he and Britt were alone so they could compare notes but they aren’t so he said, “I’m sorry. I couldn’t help it. I’ll try and do better but you know me; I’ll probably fuck it up.”

She wailed and pretty much dove in to bury her face back into the crook of his neck. He looks helplessly at Santana, wanting to ask a million things but keeping quiet and rubbing circles on Brittney’s back.

He slept at Finn’s that night, which meant he missed his mother nagging about him not attending services. Finn and he ran the next morning before it got too hot and spent the day just hanging out and having philosophical discussions. Well Finn probably thought they were talking about Sci Fi but Noah was refreshing his memory of both how naïve and how insightful his best friend was. Sunday Quinn was tied up with family so Finn and he hit movie theater and finally caught ‘Hellboy II’.

Monday he was at Mrs. Kohn’s until noon and then he picked up Hannah at day care and took her shopping for school clothes since he’d be starting camp and tied up until right before school started. He’d canceled his other Monday appointments, and the ones for the next day as well. Instead of hitting Sears or Walmart or the overpriced boutiques at the mall he drove her over an hour to Columbus having checked online for resale stores and their hours. Kids clothing tended to be outgrown before it was beat to hell and back and it wasn’t too much trouble to check out what was ‘in fashion for the fall. He’d budgeted about two hundred for her school clothing and that wouldn’t have bought much even in Walmart but in the consignment and resale shops he was able to find stuff she liked that would  neither embarrass her nor make her look homeless or like a prepubescent slut.

They ate dinner on the way back and when they came into the apartment loaded down with bags his mother met his eyes and then looked away. And now that he wasn’t an angry teen he could see shame in the way she avoided his gaze but back then all he’d seen was disappointment. Now he knew she knew how he was making money. And she’d almost have to, he got most of his ‘clients’ from word of mouth and from women her age or older. They talked; at the hair dressers, at lunch, at the bars, maybe not the type of bars she frequented but word got around and it hit him like a punch in the gut because he never knew that she knew.

He went to his room and called Finn to confirm what they were doing the next day. Since Hannah would be at camp and his mother at work they would usually be gaming at Finn’s place but Puck suggested Finn come over. He had a feeling that the police would be looking for him soon and wanted to stick close to home so if they showed they talked to him before they talked to his mom.

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

Well nothing like starting off with a bang, he thought. Noah Puckerman was currently in a holding cell oddly enough there was no sign of Sidney. But then for some reason the sex crime industry always focused on the prostitute and the johns were rarely targeted.

Ira Kohn had apparently decided not to hold the tape to use in a divorce. As soon as Ira viewed the file he’d recorded using a hidden web cam, he’d taken his laptop to the police station. Cash had changed hands and Noah had been brought in for questioning. Well that was one way to get out of the prostitution business.

Sydney had phoned him and hissed threats at him, telling him to keep quiet just before the police showed up on his doorstep. He was taken out of the cell to meet with his court appointed lawyer. Finn had been over at his ma’s place watching movies when the cops came for him so he was probably still panicking or maybe he’d called Carole.

Noah’s meeting with the lawyer was in an interrogation room, with a window like the ones on old TV shows. He kept his story that he only cleaned pools for money. Mrs. Kohn was a customer, had been for two summers now and she was good about referring business to him. He admitted she sometimes tipped him a lot and sometimes gave him alcohol but as far as he was concerned he didn’t feel she’d coerced him into having sex nor to the best of his knowledge did she receive any form of payment from the people she referred him to.

“Wait,” his lawyer said, she was about forty five and looked really tired, Noah could relate. She continued “You mentioned alcohol. Are you under twenty one?”

“Up until July first I was under sixteen,” Noah said.

She looked poleaxed. He kind of felt bad that this had landed on her. “I,” she started and then looked down at the notes, then she said, “I, you, you need an adult here.”

“My mom’s at work and I was supposed to be picking my little sister up at her summer program soon, can I call a friend to get her so she’s not left waiting? Listen, I didn’t start this for the free booze. I’m a teenager I eat a lot and I needed funds to help with school supplies, clothes, yeah I bought a guitar and laptop but really I just wanted to buy my own stuff, Mom’s got her hand’s full with Hannah. My old man ran off right after my sister was born and he’s kind of non-existent with the child support,” Noah said. He’d have had his teeth pulled before airing this shit when he really was sixteen but things needed to change. Not just for him but for Hannah. “Ma counts on me to bring in cash, I’m not hurting anyone; I just wanted to help.”

So it turned into a big thing. He lost track of all the people brought in from child welfare, family court, his mother of course, but also a judge and doctors. He, or rather whichever adult was in charge of him, and he figures by the time he got use to still being a minor he won’t be one any more, authorized a completed physical. He pointed out he just had one so he could go to football training camp – it was going to start next Monday - but they want another one. A full panel of STD screening was ordered and apparently his ma was in big trouble, but they aren’t removing him or Hannah from the her care. He’s not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing. He was assigned a counselor, who was one of the many people he had to meet with while this was going down. He has to see her twice a week regarding how hyper-sexualization has impacted his self-esteem. Apparently his counselor, Justine, a very earnest twenty something fresh from graduate school was doing her doctorate on the impact of pop culture on adolescent girls and their sexuality and self-image. At sixteen he would have nailed her but given his mental if not physical age he just wants to pat her on the head and say ‘that’s nice kid’.

So during his first meeting with Justine while he was still in custody, he poured out his concerns about Hannah. Things like how his mother seemed to like her better because she’s not ‘cut from the same cloth as his father’ but how that might not actually be a good thing. He talked about his mother’s bitterness, her sporadic concern and frequent disinterest. How she left Hannah’s care mostly to either him or the subsidized childcare unless someone pointed out her somewhat questionable parenting; such as the fact that she had shown his eight year old sister ‘Schindler’s List’ every year since she was old enough to stay awake through it, and then she just faked a parental reform until people stop caring and then she would go back to only being interested enough to criticize. Justine took copious notes and earnestly promised him that no matter what happened with him she would use every resource available to see that either, his mother got some kind of help, or that Hannah’s safety and wellbeing would be more closely monitored.

The upside of it all was his mother also had mandatory therapy assigned and if there was anyone who needed it, it was her. It had been over eight years since his old man had blown town, and given how old Jake was the marriage had been going downhill long before he booked. Yet his dad was still there as a ghost that she held Noah up to, a specter of future failure waiting to possess him in her eyes, or already part of him. It hadn’t all come out in the first interview, but after his first few sessions, Justine was sure that her constant disapproval and comparisons to his absent father was what drove him to seek approval from older women. Of course this had all come out in therapy when he was with the Air Force and after, and yeah he might have walked Justine into some of the conclusions she was drawing. He wasn’t the uneducated sixteen year old she saw him as, he had minored in psych and majored in marketing at night school in his thirties and got a MBA in his forties, not to mention having forty years or more of successfully talking people into things. While there were sixteen year old sociopaths and practiced liars he had the advantage of an old head on a young body, and at least for that first session there was the huge freaking mirror in the interrogation room to drill home exactly what they all saw when they looked at him. He might be well-muscled and athletic looking but he still looked like a kid. Noah knew for a fact what had happened when nothing was done, his mother never got out of her miasma and if anything had gotten worse over time.

Once he was released to his mother’s care she grounded him and went through his room, yelling at him the whole time she was searching his drawers and closet. He was glad he’d stashed the gym bag with the bulk of his savings under Finn’s bed since his mother would have probably found it in her search. But her words had long lost any power over him; he just took mental notes of the insults, put downs and comparisons to his father. After a while when they didn’t stop he pulled out the notebook the counselor had given him and started detailing what she was saying and doing.

“Noah, are you listening to me,” his ma said.

Noah looked up and replied, “I’m not only listening; I’m taking notes. Justine said,” and he’d only met with her the one time before his release but he already knew he could steer her to the right conclusions so he continued, “that the reason I’ve grown up so fast and look to women your age for approval is that you verbally abuse me and force me into the role dad vacated. She said I need to be aware of when you do it and how I respond to it if I’m ever going to develop healthy coping strategies as opposed to striking out at others or exhibiting self-destructive behavior.” The truth was that was the result of nearly ten years of therapy but his ma didn’t need to know that.

“Are you saying this is my fault,” she yelled.

Noah said, “You’re the adult. You have all the power. I’m the kid. Are you saying it’s my fault? Did I make you marry dad? Did I make him leave? Did I make you chose to wallow in your depression and turn to alcohol instead of developing your own healthy coping strategies? Has emasculating me in any way improved your quality of life? Has it improved Hannah’s or mine? You’re the parent here. My life; Hannah’s life they’re in your hands and you’ve spent the last eight years looking for someone to blame why you’re not happy on. And even before dad left; that someone has been me most of the time.”

“I never meant for you to feel like that,” she said and he hoped he hasn’t pushed her too far but could see her eyes drift to the door and probably the idea of hitting a bar.

Noah started, “I know. I’m angry too. We both, maybe all three of us need to get our shit together. Finding a healthy channel for the anger is part of that. Maybe this mandatory therapy will help us all out.”

The grounding didn’t impact training camp and really only lasted twenty four hours before he was over at Finn’s. So the four weeks before school started were filled with four grueling days of work outs and drills from nine to four with an hour break at lunch. Wednesdays and weekends were free and the Cherrios were training six days a week but seven until one so Wednesdays they pick up the girls up at school and do shit. By the time training camp was finished Finn wasn’t the only one to know the score. Quinn, San and Britt were informed because they were just there but despite them only naming Sydney in the paper the whole team knew she was arrested because her husband caught her with him. He kind of feels bad for Ira Kohn because his dealerships’ sales were taking a hit while his name is being dragged through the mud, while Puck, being that he’s sixteen, was at least not named in the papers, only referred to as the underaged male. For Puck at least, there were no reporters camped out on his doorstep. But everyone on the team knew mostly because they remembered his penchant for cougars and knew about his ‘pool cleaning business’ and that meant everyone at school would know. Sydney, in a bid to get a plea bargain named names and Noah’s sincerely grateful that he had a policy of not sleeping with friend’s moms because Quinn goes through a period of not speaking to him because her pastor’s wife was one of his cougars. He’d forgotten how religious Quinn had been, but figured that there was no better form of birth control than to have her actively avoiding him.

He tried to treat every day as a gift. Which sounded corny but he couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d wake up, or not wake up so he worked out, practiced with the team and hung with Finn and said a little prayer of gratitude for waking up every morning and one for having been given one more day with Finn and Hannah before he slept. He started going to synagogue every other Friday since that’s when the rabbi lead services, his mom thought it was just because of the bust but he had found out during therapy in his thirties that his faith was a solid base that held him up, at least it had been once he lost Finn, Beth and Hannah. Hell, once he got the warnings due to his blood tests regarding his numbers for cholesterol and blood sugar he’d started sticking to a kosher diet mostly by just eating vegetarian after he turned forty and his Hebrew was far better than it had been at his bar mitzvah thanks to Rosetta Stone. If there was any tenant of the Jewish faith he had taken to heart it was lifetime learning. He had for most of his adult life even after he’d received his degrees been taking at least one class or learning something on his own from voice lessons to yoga; philosophy to playing piano, he always had something. It seemed to give structure to his life and kept him sharp.

The Friday before school started both football and cheerleading camps had finished and he and Finn went with the girls to Columbus. They took Quinn’s mom’s Enclave so that they could all use one vehicle and have room for bags. The girls wanted the bigger stores and better malls but while they were shopping for clothes, Finn and he borrowed the keys and went to check out some of the pawn shops. Because Finn had been planning to, and as Puck remembered had actually, blown all his savings on some cheap ass locket for Quinn, who last time hadn’t been willing to replace the cross she got from daddy for something that would turn her neck green, Puck was determined to see he did better this time. Puck told him that they would get better jewelry at a lower cost in a pawn shop. So while Finn was being distracted by all the fourteen karat gewgaws Puck checked out the used instruments. It took three stores before he found a used key board in pretty good condition at a decent price. In the first story Finn first chose a heart locket similar to the one he got her, but Puck pointed out she already wore the cross from her father and giving her another necklace may make it seem like she had to choose not only between the necklaces but between Finn and her Dad. Earrings didn’t seem to be like good jewelry to get used and a ring would send the wrong message as a sophomore so he steered Finn to the bracelets and Finn picked a gold charm bracelet and they found a tiny gold cross charm in the first store that matches her necklace and after checking in the next two come up with a tiny megaphone charm and a little pompom charm and for a couple extra bucks the guy at the third store put all the charms on it for Finn. The total is less than thirty bucks and Finn is able to spend the money Carole gave him for clothes actually on clothes this time.

After the pawn shops, Puck took Finn to a resale shop he’d scoped out when he’d dragged Hannah shopping. This shop had a big and tall sign out front and enabled them to grab not only pounds of tees and tanks but some guy Finn’s size had either died or moved because there was a ton of crap that fit him all in a timeless style. Not only did they find Finn ankle boots that fit for dress up but three pairs of jeans with extra-long legs and about a dozen solid colored sweaters with names like Brooks Brothers, Saint Laurent, David Donahue and Hugo Boss. There was even a navy blue suit that didn’t make him look like a poorly paid government worker. Finn didn’t want to buy it but Puck pointed out it was cheap and Quinn would expect him to dress up for dances and junk. Kurt would probably be the only one that recognized the labels but the clothing was simple classic cuts and not Kurt’s rather flamboyant mode of dressing. The sweaters were made of silk or wool and Puck checked to make sure they were all hand wash and not dry clean only because Carole wasn’t rolling in dough.

Noah Puckerman had been no fashion plate but he knew how to buy quality that showed off his body in the best light. Finn didn’t care as long as it was comfortable and fit and the store had this shit marked down to insane prices, probably because most guys Finn’s size just didn’t wear this style or the guys that did didn’t shop resale. Noah was neither big nor tall but the store had a good selection of clothing in his size and his older more practiced eye sorted through it trying to remember what had been in fashion for men currently verses what had appealed to him in later years.

Noah had shaved the ‘hawk at the start of camp and was keeping his hair buzzed closed to his head. He tried on a dark gray suit of his own and checked where it hit on is ass and although he still thought he looked painfully young at least he would be taken seriously. He tossed it in the joint pile of ‘buy ems’ and responded to Finn’s questioning look with, “figured I might need something like that if I get hauled in to testify or something.”

Finn had been a rock in his own way in the whole prostitution debacle. He had wormed his way passed Puck’s mother and they’d pretty much been inseparable during training camp and try outs. As they had last time they both made the team, quarterback and running back respectively and how bad did the team have to be for sophomores to be on the first string? The book had arrived and Noah got to see Carole’s face when she handed the package over to Finn. Finn had had her pick up extra notebooks when she got his school supplies and was actually taking notes in three separate note books, one labeled ‘offense’, another ‘defense’ and a third ‘team’. Finn had probably done more work during camp that he did in any one subject freshman year.

They finished up buying almost whole new wardrobes for a couple hundred bucks each, and Finn would have probably had to pay that for the boots alone at retail. And then they went back to pick up the girls and had dinner at the Red Lobster that was an outbuilding of the mall with him and Finn splitting the check because the girls spent all their money at the mall. It was a good thing Quinn was driving on the way home because Brittney and Santana were poking around in their bags and found the bracelet, after Noah’s hissed ‘don’t ruin it’ Santana had called to Finn, who was riding shotgun, “Good work, Hudson,” before tucking the package back in the bag.

The girls dropped them both off at Finn’s and they dragged all the bags and Puck’s new keyboard up to his room because they were all packed together.

“I’ma leave a bunch of this here, okay?” Puck said.

Finn said, “Sure but I don’t think I have room for what I bought.”

Puck said, “Sorry to tell you this but you have to try on more clothes.”

“Why,” Finn said and Noah snorted because he was actually pouting.

Puck said, “Don’t pout, I’ll order pizza and wings. Before you get this all out to put away, dump out all your clothes from you drawers and closet. Try them on and make a keep pile of what still fits – you grew again man and even if you love the shirt if it won’t go over your shoulders it’s time to get rid of it.”

It had been almost two hours since they ate so Puck ordered a large meat lovers and two dozen wings rattling off Finn’s address which he still remembered better than any of the places he’d lived in the last forty years. By the time he got off the phone there was a growing pile on the floor of cast offs but Finn had worn his shirts pretty baggy last year so there were still a few that fit. Noah pulled off his own shirt and started sorting through Finn’s cast off’s

“What are you doing?” Finn asked.

Puck said, “Shopping? If any of these fit I’ll taken them and then the rest we’ll stick in the empty bags and let your mom dump them at Goodwill.”

“Don’t,” Finn started and then said, “Don’t you think it’ll be weird, wearing my clothes?”

Puck remembered this, the Finn who was so afraid of what people might notice or think, afraid not only that others would think he was weird or different or gay but maybe that he was at least not the same as everyone else. Part of it was other kids had parents, two parents, and the two of them had both grown up peeking over at the other kids with their dads to see if there was something they were missing, some whispered secret fathers passed on to sons that they missed some secret that not knowing might prevent them from becoming men. The rest of it was pure Finn, the big goofy kid who despite being chased by numerous girls still felt as if all his classmates were giggling about how awkward he was, remembering when suddenly he was all knees and elbows and couldn’t fit right into the smaller desks at junior high. He’d barely had a chance to get used to his adult body before fate had stolen him from them and Noah wished he could in some way impart the comfort and confidence that forty odd years in his adult body had given him but instead just shrugged and said, “Dude. All my clothes have been worn by someone else. Except underwear; you start wearing a guy’s underwear you may as well pony up the cash for an engagement ring.”

Finn chuckled and at the sound of the bell Puck handed him a couple twenties and he went to get the food. When he came back with the pizza, wings, two liters of pop and a roll of paper towels Puck said, “I’m gonna leave a pair of jeans, a bunch of tee shirts and a couple sweaters, you want me to shove it in a bag at the back of your closet.”

“No, just use the top drawer. How come you’re leaving clothes? I mean like official cause you always leave junk here,” Finn said, “and do you want,” he stopped and looked around nervously, “do you want that gym bag you left.”

“No its good,” Noah said, “I just like the idea of having things here if I need to get out and you know if you need anything, cash-wise you can help yourself, I know you’re not going to buy jewelry for Quinn or something from it but if I have anything you need man, cash, blood, a kidney, you know it’s yours right?”

Finn kind of blushed and sank next to the pile of their recent purchases that Noah had been sorting through to find out what to leave and what to take home. He looked up and said, “Yeah, thanks, I’m okay.”

And maybe that had been a bit too homo-romantic for sixteen year old Finn Hudson but damn it Noah couldn’t shake the feeling that any night he closed his eyes could be the last time he saw him. And Finn had been the brightest spot of his childhood and the most defining influence of his adolescence and young adult life. Sad that they’d been the same age but Finn and Coach had been his male role models at least in later years and that was the yardstick he’d measured everyone against. Noah realized he’d kind of idealized Finn in his memory but even at his worst there had been no one else who knew him or got him the way Finn had. So Noah thought he should take a risk and say something, the kind of thing that when you finally accepted in the most aching part of your gut that you would never see your best friend again, that you’d never laugh together or hang out or ponder the mysteries of life and women and the long lonely road ahead when you woke at night in a cold sweat wishing with all your being that you had said it to them, just once.

“I love you.” And when Finn quickly looked at him, eyes wide, he continued, “No, don’t say anything. I don’t feel the need to add any qualifiers to that because I’m pretty sure that you’re the whole reason I know what love is. You are now and have always been my safest place – wherever you are that’s where I want to be. When I picture myself a year from now or five years from now, or some old man in a nursing home, I know I’ll be happy if I can just look over and share whatever shit is going down in my life with you. You’ve helped me laugh at the stuff that would just grind down other people and you just make everything better. You know what Ma’s like. You know what an utter shithole we live in and just how neglected we really are yet you never make me feel like some loser that will never get out of Lima. You don’t make me feel like a moron - because I really was kind of, I mean, I was working as a prostitute and didn’t really put it together until it had all spiraled out of control. You never call me a man whore, even though I kind of am. The shit you’ve done for me, just being my best friend,” and his voice cracked a bit but hell, his body at least was close enough to puberty to pass that off, and it helped that he wasn’t the emotionally constipated sixteen year old he had been. Noah continued, “in my darkest times, when it felt like I might just shake apart into a million pieces like some overstressed engine, just knowing you would be there, that I was always welcome to crash on your floor and play mindless games instead of dwelling on it all, you held me together man; I really don’t think I’d be here today if it wasn’t for you, so thank you, Finn, you have no idea and I just don’t have the words to tell you how much you mean to me.”

Finn looked down and sniffed. He lifted a hand to his face and Noah realized he was wiping tears and felt answering ones spring to his own eyes. And then Finn stood abruptly and dragged Noah into a hard awkward hug that nearly dislocated Noah’s neck and Finn sobbed, “I should have known. I shouldn’t have been all like ‘cool, man you had sex, that’s great’. I’m a crap friend and I’ll do better I promise.”

About that time, Carole stopped in the doorway and they separated with manly pats on the back and she took time to look over what they’d bought and to approve of the bracelet Finn had bought for Quinn’s birthday. Mostly she was impressed that Finn hadn’t spent all his money on the bracelet and had a decent selection of clothes that would at least fit for a couple months. She oohed over Noah’s keyboard and he was planning to store that there too at least until his mother unstressed about the prostitution. He was already going to have problems when he brought home his new clothes. He figured he could pass some of them off as Finn’s hand-me-downs but was toying with just answering her inevitable ‘where did you get the money to pay for them’ with the honest ‘from my prostitution funds’ since it was all officially out in the open now.

They finished up their sorting through the clothes and eating their after dinner snack. Played some games and it was nearly midnight when Carole took the bags loaded up for Goodwill and Noah took the bags with the stuff he wanted to take back to his ma’s place. He wasn’t staying over; Finn had a lunch date for Quinn’s birthday the next day but would be spared the awkward birthday dinner with her family. Carole suggested they fire up the grill for the last Saturday of summer vacation and asked him to bring his mom and sister. He told her his ma was busy since she was meeting with a person from temple regarding getting her shit together on Saturday evenings but he was glad Hannah was welcome since he was on Hannah duty. Carole said to bring a friend for Hannah so she’d have someone to play with and he headed home.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Quinn loved her charm bracelet. Much more than the overpriced necklace that Finn had bought her the last time. So Finn was in her good graces; for now. Finn was somewhere in the chaos which reigned before classes started on the first day of school. Puck scanned the crowds looking for either his tall friend or a group of red because where there was Finn there would be Cheerios. All the Cheerios were in uniform the first day of school for the ‘welcome back’ assembly that afternoon. All the teams were wearing game day jerseys for the same assembly. Noah Puckerman shook his head, it was like Principal Friggins was trying to set off the powder keg McKinley had always been. Hadn’t there been some kind of shooting after they graduated? Well this was certainly the atmosphere to foster it. The welcome back assemblies were like Nazi party meetings, all intended to reinforce the social order. All the jocks were sporting their team jersey and it just worked to make the fringe dwellers and outcast feel even more ostracized from the elite. Being part of that elite had been so important when he was the poor kid from the bad home, now it just seemed pathetic.

As he walked the halls he noticed Karofsky and Adams were hovering over and making fun of Artie so Puck hip checked Adams into a wall hard with a growled, “Grow the fuck up, asshole,” and kept moving, since he hadn’t technically met Artie yet. Which confused the hell out of all three of the boys he left in his wake but Puck didn’t bother to stay and clarify matters as he moved down the hall watching the sheep part like the Red Sea. Even without the Mohawk he was apparently still considered a bad ass, and it was almost laughable how important that had once been to him.

Brittney skipped out of a corridor, spotted him, ran over bouncing with happiness and pulled him into a kiss before gripping onto his bicep and calling over her shoulder, “Found him.”

Santana followed sullenly in her wake and said, “I didn’t know we were looking for him.”

As this had been Brittney’s method of greeting him ever since that night at the movies Santana seemed to be grudgingly putting up with him. Mostly, Noah thought because he hadn’t fucked either of them since getting back or starting over or whatever the hell this was. During the few moments he was able to get Britt alone he’d tried to find out what had happened at least to her and all she could tell him was she missed him, he had been gone, she had been sad, now he was back and she was happy. Which was more than you could usually get from Brittney so he guessed he should be grateful.

“Sup, San,” Puck greeted her without the kiss.

Santana rolled her eyes and said, “Little Miss. Chastity is finalizing meeting times with Ms. P. – apparently we’re all chaste now it’s the in thing.”

Puck chuckled and said, “It would be sad if she was just pushing this club for a line item on her college apps, but she is really selling it – god sometimes...”

He trailed of, not wanting to compare Quinn to the women who had kept husbands to show friends, family and society in general that they toed the line in the approved fashion and then paid a kid to service them sexually just so they could feel in control of one aspect of their pathetic sham of a life. But that was the culture she was raised in; keep up the appearances for family, the rest of the congregation, even for the friends at the country club, all the while your marriage and your life was crumbling to pieces at your feet.

“Care to put some money down that you can nail our lady of the virginal cheerleaders,” Santana said with a smirk.

Noah shook his head and said, “I wouldn’t touch her with Finn’s dick. But I will put fifty on the fact that she gives it up to someone besides Finn all the while trying to maintain the illusion of the perfect couple.”

“Seriously, you think Ms. Pious will cheat?” Santana said and Brittney made a distressed noise and stomped off.

Noah said, “Go after her, my low expectations of Fabray shouldn’t rain on Britt’s happy.”

Santana peeled off after Brittney and Noah reflected maybe it was a good thing Britt was there, she’d keep him honest; or at least from sinking into some jaded misanthrope expecting the worst of everyone around him.

He turned the corner and was nearly bowled over by Rachel Berry in one of her diva-esk huffs. He growled out a “watch where you’re going, Streisand,” and kept on going. He nodded to Mike and Matt who were hanging in front of Chang’s locker and kept going toward where Finn’s locker had been sophomore year. Finn was there with Quinn. Given the lockers were assigned alphabetically Kurt’s was nearby and Tina and Mercedes were at it with him. It seemed odd that he’d seen the whole glee club but that it hadn’t come to be yet. He wondered if he really cared if it did. Would keeping out of all that drama be better for them all, had Mr. Schuster really helped any of them?

They spend some time comparing the schedules they’d been assigned and killing time before first bell. There was no practice that day and no classes after lunch due to the assembly. The jocks were fairly well behaved, mostly because they didn’t want to mess up their jerseys. Puck hadn’t seen one slushy that morning, so tomorrow there would probably be more of them to make up. He caught Kurt checking out Finn and gave him a full out sex-shark smirk. Tina blushed and looked down, hiding behind her hair, Mercedes was oblivious and Kurt looked like he wanted to die; so just like old times.

Adams and Karofsky came down the hall but instead of heading for Kurt they came up to Puck and Adams said, “What the fuck man?”

“You’re an embarrassment. Don’t make me have to beat the shit out of you,” Puck said without even looking at them.

Finn asked, “What did they do?”

“They were fucking with the kid in the wheelchair, like that would earn them anything but contempt,” he said to Finn, pointedly ignoring the other two.

Finn glared at them and said, “Not cool.”

“Oh, my God what is wrong with you,” Quinn said looking at both Adams and Karofsky like they could answer that. Her open astonishment at least caused Adams to look at his feet as he shuffled them, Karofsky was too busy shooting covert glances at Hummel, who as always was dressed to agitate.

Noah had never really paid attention to Hummel’s wardrobe while they were in school but seeing it again it was one, ridiculous and two, it could not have been comfortable. Noah was tempted to conclude that Kurt was just starved for attention and probably enjoyed being tossed in dumpsters. Not that he was going to do it, he was fifty six years old and he had more important things to do than school Kurt Hummel in the ways of the world.

Everyone dispersed to their homerooms in anticipation of the bell and Noah resigned himself to the idea that maybe he would have to sit through three years of high school all over again. And that maybe, just maybe, this was Sheppard Book’s very special hell because yes he had always talked at the theater.

Puck realized as he went to his classes that there wasn’t much going on the first day. His listening and note taking skills had improved over the years and he wondered why they never had a class on taking classes and organizing thoughts while in high school. Because things just made sense now and they really hadn’t the first time. Mr. Schue’s Spanish class still didn’t have any discernable Spanish accent to their rote repeating of phrases and after thirty years as a So Cal boy Noah’s Spanish was almost as foul as his English and while his verb tense wasn’t school boy perfect he had a much more varied vocabulary than their text book.

He had Spanish with Finn right before lunch and then the girls went off to ‘not eat’ with the Cheerios since they would be performing for most of the assembly. Finn and he were joined by the guy Finn had heading up special teams and the guy heading up the defense. Finn actually had Puck keeping the offensive line on board with his amateur coaching for dummies but Puck had channeled his sergeant from basic and scared the shit out of them so now Finn kept him around as a threat to the o-line as in ‘do as I say or I’ll turn you over to Puck’ and was running their drills himself.

“We should get one of the geeks on board as team statistician,” Puck said.

Crosby, who wasn’t as big as Karofsky or Adams but was a senior so in charge of defense, asked, “Why?”

“Because we need someone to monitor performance and to monitor grades and make sure that at least the guys who are semi-good stay eligible to play,” Puck said. “That’ll mean lining up tutors and setting up study groups as needed. We’re not putting all this work in and then losing them to a ‘D’ in American History. And have we found a kicker yet?”

“I’m the kicker,” Bennett said.

Puck gave him his best unimpressed look and said, “You can’t get it through the fucking goalposts from more than twenty yards away when you’re on an empty field. Do we have anyone who can do that or better when they play against actual people?”

“Dude!” Bennett said.

Finn said, “You’ll still be head of special teams but as the leader it’s your responsibility to make sure you have the best people you can get in every position. We are not having another year like last year dude.” Finn was really taking the stealth coaching seriously. Puck was all for it because while Finn had had solos, show choir had mostly been about Rachel whereas football had been about Finn.

Puck spent more than a few nights kicking around the glee club conundrum while searching for sleep especially on the nights he spent at his mother’s apartment. He used the techniques he’d learned over the years to try and clear his mind and to acknowledge his own bias and resentments. Carole had mentioned in one of their infrequent phone calls that when Mr. Schuester died, his wife, Ms. P had found Finn’s Jacket when sorting through his things, rather than donate it as she had most of Mr. Schue’s stuff she had sent it to Carole with a letter saying how much Finn had meant to Will. Apparently Ms. P. had not been aware of the blow up that the missing jacket had caused. For about six months after Carole told him Noah honestly thought Kurt might call and apologize for all of his baseless accusations. But either Carole never mentioned it or more likely Kurt didn’t feel he had anything to apologize for.

It hadn’t been until Puck was living in Finn’s dorm room that Finn had relayed how Mr. Schue had blackmailed him into joining glee club. If Finn had come to him at the time Noah hoped he’d have been savvy enough to recognize a frame job. Although Finn let it go when Mr. Schue, confessed just before grad, once he actually started working with students in the role of an advisor Finn had put together just how inappropriate that had been. And Finn had kind of kicked himself that he hadn’t thought it was odd that there were never any spot locker checks done by teachers after he’d joined glee. Once Finn started interning at the school he realized that there would be multiple people present when a locker was opened so stuff like finding drugs could not be swept under the rug.

So if Noah was piecing things together correctly, Rachel had gotten rid of Ryerson and yeah he was creepy but maybe he wasn’t guilty. This was the deranged diva that sent that little girl to a crack house because she wasn’t sure she could win. He wouldn’t put it passed her to accuse a teacher of misconduct because she didn’t get a solo. There was no telling what Rachel might do. After Ryerson left and Schuster had reformed the glee club, it had had five members and it would have just either petered out or they would have sang in the choir room and not competed. If they hadn’t competed Schue would have lose interest. They had all had fun, but had it helped anyone but Rachel? Tina became more outgoing, and Mike got to dance but was it worth letting Finn near someone like Schue? The man had never behaved like a responsible adult in Noah’s opinion, not like Coach Beiste and God there were times he’d give anything to hear her call him pumpkin again. The way Schue had manipulated Finn, well if the man had been like Ryerson it would have been horrific but as it had been it still it left a taste of bile in Noah’s mouth and he was unsure what he should do if or when Schue did it again.

Pretty much every jock in the school including the tennis team had to stand for applause when their name was individually called at the assembly. Noah had forgotten the aura of celebrity that athletes received. There were a ridiculous number of kids in athletics given that most of their teams didn’t score let alone win. The Cheerios were the only ones who really won competitions. It wasn’t like the school had a huge coaching staff. Given that Coach Tanaka actually liked football, the half ass job he did with them was probably better than what he did for the track team. Sue Silvester took an incomprehensible twenty minutes to say how wonderful she was and then that her cheerleaders were going to take state again and Noah toyed with the idea of joining the squad once football season was over. She hadn’t actually issued cards with his name and face to instruct her girls to avoid him until after he knocked Quinn up and frankly even with Coach Beiste there was a greater likelihood of him getting a cheerleading scholarship than one for football. He was certainly strong enough to toss girls in the air, he did it to Brittney all the time.

By Thursday, Sandy Ryerson was out of a job. Puck was trying to remember how long after Mr. Shue took over glee club that Finn had mysteriously joined and figured it would be before the end of the following week but not before the weekend. He was lost in these calculations as he was leaving Justine’s office that afternoon and absentmindedly held the heavy glass door into the office park filled with medical practices open for the people coming in as he left. Hummel jumped back like he was going to be assaulted and Noah rolled his eyes and walked past him shaking his head. He passed Burt but didn’t nod since he wasn’t supposed to know him yet.

“You’re a thug,” Kurt hissed as Noah passed Burt.

Noah was surprised Kurt was doing this where his dad could see but figured why the hell not and drawled conversationally as he turned, “don’t forget a whore as well. It’s not like you to avoid going for the sweet spot.”

“Me?” Kurt squeaked and said, “You have harassed me for years.”

“And you in your saintly altruism have done nothing to warrant it? You’ve never responded? Never started it? Never finished it?” Noah said and Burt looked like he wanted to step in and defend his little princess but Kurt had been the one to engage, so he just stood there watching.

“No. I go to school and you and your plebian clods from the football team harass me for having a modicum of taste,” Kurt said.

“Really, Hummel?” Puck said, aware the Burt was glowering at him simply because he was physically larger than Kurt but they were over eight feet apart because of how far Puck had walked before he turned to respond. He decided why the fuck not, this little shit needed thrown under the bus and maybe if daddy didn’t think he was such an angelic choirboy he’d make him take some fucking responsibility for his own actions. “You’re making a lot of assumptions there. I can’t speak for anyone else but the reason I don’t like you has more to do with you driving a forty thousand dollar car, wearing five hundred dollar jackets and then sneering down you upturned nose at my Goodwill wardrobe. The cracks about how I’ll ‘never amount to anything’ and how I’ll be ‘working for you someday’ don’t help either. Do you make those same cracks to Az? Because I know since his dad got cancer that his mom is working two jobs because they don’t have any government subsidies like my ma, they have to foot all the bills not covered by insurance themselves. So if you’ve talked the same trash to him that you do to me, you really shouldn’t be surprised he has it out for you. But you keep kicking people and then running to an adult when they kick back; see how far that takes you in life, rich boy.” Noah turned away and got into his twenty year old beat up truck and drove away. He had no idea what the Hummels were doing there; maybe they had joint dentist appointments but that little encounter should give them something to talk about if nothing else.

Friday was their first game and they actually scored. One touchdown, of couse they missed the field goal but they made it back to first down during four different drives and that was unheard of. It wasn’t much but it was a difference in how it had gone last time and all due to Finn’s coaching. Finn was disappointed they didn’t win but the rest of the team was happy just to have points on the scoreboard; and to have made the other team work for the six ten loss. Friday night games would make Shabbat nearly impossible to attend, at least in Lima. There were Saturday services but he’d have to drive at least forty five miles to attend them, but they were closer to his Nana’s rest home so he decided to see if she was going and meet her while she was still around. He remembered she’d died when he was in Juvie and figured anytime spent with her would be more than he had before.

There weren’t many place open after ten in Lima so after the game the team ended up at Fat Jack’s for pizza. Anyone would have thought they won by how happy everyone was. Puck split a very non-kosher artery blocking huge meat heavy pizza with Finn and Quinn scowled into her diet soda because Sylvester would know if she ate a damn salad. He did manage to talk San and Britt into splitting a Cobb salad, on him, and he had half a mind to sick Ms. Pillsbury on Sue with various pamphlets on body image and self-esteem. But given Sue’s self-esteem he figured it would be like spitting in the wind or holding back the tide with harsh language.

The weekend went fast and he did see his nana. He took Hannah with him and Nana took them out to eat at McDonalds afterward. While Hannah is romping in the play area he told his nana what happened, because he never knew how much she knew about how things were with his mother, and he kind of felt bad that he never knew what his mother had told her before she died. So he explains that situation, how tight money was and how he started the pool cleaning business at fourteen. That part she knew, but he explained that most people don’t pay the kind of cash for odd jobs that he was getting and she immediately jumps to the drug conclusion.

He sighed and said, “I was having sex with them, Nana. Women, some older than mom, were paying me to have sex with them. One of their husbands set up a camera and turned her into the cops; because I was a minor when it all started they’re in lots of trouble. So things at home are kind of tense. Mom and I both have mandatory therapy we have to attend and our home situation is being monitored by social services.”

“Did your mother know, Noah,” his nana asked.

He swallowed and kept looking over where Hannah was before he said, “She knew I was able to pay my own way and that I was contributing to some of Hannah’s expenses. If she didn’t know for sure it was because she didn’t want to. We’ve never talked about it but I’m pretty sure she did. She wasn’t happy but what was the alternative. She didn’t want to be the one to come up with the four hundred dollar fee for training camp or all the other expenses kids incur.”

Noah was worried that laying all this on her might be too much strain. She’d died in a little more than a year from now and he didn’t want her ushered out early. However there were extended family out there somewhere who his mother didn’t speak with because she thought that they looked down on her and once Nana had died he really didn’t know who all they were or how to contact them so maybe if she was aware of how bad it was she could get Hannah some help if his mother bolted. And to be honest watching his mother since she was now under scrutiny of both the authorities and social services he couldn’t shake the feeling she was gearing up to pull a runner. He was sixteen, and nearly sixty, if his mother disappeared he would survive but he didn’t want Hannah in some foster home that ended up being featured on ‘Criminal Minds’.

Most things hadn’t changed, sure the team had put up some points and well, he wasn’t working in the sex trade anymore but the general atmosphere of the school was still quiet desperation. Judging by the first week of classes his grades were going to be much better, but it would have been hard for them to have been worse. But no longer would a ‘C-’ be considered a Puckerman ‘A’. And Hummel was now making doe eyes at him for some reason - in addition to, not instead of, Finn. He even looked like he was trying to get the nerve up to talk to him, like that was a thing that could happen in this school. But Brittney had jump/hugged him and dragged him off to Santana before Kurt could ditch Mercedes and apparently he didn’t want Puck schooling him in front of her the way he had with his dad.

He almost wished he could put his mom in some kind of day care where she could make friends. She only ever bitched about the other women at work. She’d never been close to Carole despite their shared single mother status. His ma had always felt everyone was judging her and looking down on her so she pretty much isolated herself except from the other losers that hung out at the bars in walking distance from their apartment. She’d actually been drinking more since starting her sessions with a therapist and Noah really wanted to strangle her because people were trying. They were trying to help her deal with her fucking life and he managed to deal with his so he was pretty frustrated that she wouldn’t just get her shit together.

It was Wednesday, after lunch in Finn and his shared English class that Miss. P and Coach came to get him and God help him his first thought was the bitch killed herself. It must have been all over his face when he shot a look at Finn because Finn shadowed him out to the hall, despite Miss. P’s protest.

“Did someone die?” Finn asked, “Because if it’s Nana Connie, I’m going with him.”

“No one’s dead.” Miss. Pillsbury said, and at Puck’s nod to confirm she was okay to talk in front of Finn she added, “Noah, I’m afraid your mother had a breakdown.”

He struggles not to roll his eyes and asked, “Are we sure she’s not just really, really drunk.”

“No sweetie, she’s being held for seventy two hours for psychiatric evaluation. She tried to hurt herself,” she said and almost reached out to touch him, despite him not having been put through a decontamination shower. Tanaka just looked really uncomfortable with the whole thing but really happy that he had a reason to be with Miss. P. The difference in coaching skills wasn’t the only advantage Coach Beiste had over Coach Tanaka, she, or rather he was just a better person, a better adult, had more teaching or maybe more parenting skills.

Noah wanted to snort because it all sounded like some over the top dramatic move on his ma’s part and then his mind caught up and he said, “Hannah. Shit. They’re not doing this with Hannah at her school right? I should be the one who tells her.”

“Well, I can call and see if they’ll wait but we’re looking for temporary placement,” she said.

“Why,” Puck asked, “it’s just a couple days, I’ve watched her for that before.”

“Noah, you’re sixteen, you can’t be the sole guardian of an eight year old,” she said.

Noah glared and said, “It’s really cool that you care - now, but I’ve been her only sober parental figure since shortly after she was born, I think if I lasted the last eight years I can make it seventy two hours.”

“They can stay with me,” Finn cut in. “My mom loves Puck, and Hannah knows us so she won’t be traumatized. And I think Mrs. Puckerman would feel better knowing her kids were staying with someone she knows instead of strangers who might molest them and junk.”

Miss. Pillsbury had to call and clear it with Carole and then she called social services and Hannah’s school. They decided that Puck will be the one to tell her when he picked her up at the end of the day. Ironically it’s just as he and Finn are walking out to the parking lot to leave, planning to split up and take care of different things when Mr. Schuster asked Finn to speak with him, privately. Noah continued down the hall and then doubled back to the Spanish class room to listen outside the door.

Just as Finn is about to cave, Noah nudged the door with his toe and it swung silently open. He leaned against the door frame and offered up his most smarmy smile and asked, “So you say you’ve been going through student lockers. You have no other staff as witness that you weren’t either stealing items or planting items and now, you’re alone with both a student and illegal drugs which you say you got from his locker but that you could possibly be offering him. I think we should all go talk Principal Friggins and review what the approved protocol is for locker searches. If you don’t have a witness or two, things are not looking good for you Mr. Schue. This looks kind of specious to me.”

“It’s not mine,” Finn said looking wild-eyed and concerned as if it’s important that Puck believe him, “I’ll pee in a cup.”

Puck offered his best bad ass smirk to Shue and said, “Of course it’s not. And if you want Finn on your team, this kind of lying and extortion is not the bases for a healthy relationship. Why not just offer him an A in Spanish?”

Mr. Schuster sputtered and said, “That would be wrong, I can’t-”

“Wait, you’re saying bribery is wrong but blackmail is okay? I guess it’s a good thing you’re not teaching ethics,” Noah cut in. “Listen, we don’t have time for this. Your little glee drama has been preempted by something more important – real life. Make you pitch, fast and Finn will consider it and get back to you, okay?”

 


	5. Chapter 5

Noah picked Hannah up at school. Her teachers were required to release her because truth be told he was not only on the approved list but he was the one who most often to picked her up when she wasn’t taking the bus home or to come to school as needed during the day if there was and emergency regardless of if he should have been in school himself. They tried saying they should wait for Carole but Noah smoothly channeled his inner-adult and said they could either make the situation harder or easier on everyone involved and they let him take Hannah. He was grateful that he got her out of there without some group participation on telling her.

“So your teachers have probably been acting like that all day, huh?” he said as soon as they were both in his truck.

Hannah sighed and asked, “Is it ma?”

“Yeah, I only know what they told me, which is she had some kind of breakdown and is in for observation. Finn’s mom is letting us stay with them. We’ll swing by our place and pick up some stuff – don’t pack everything – we should know in a couple days if she’s full out crazy or just needs to be heavily medicated,” Noah said.

Hannah rolled her eyes huffed out in a preview of the moody teen she would be one day and said, “She’s such a fucking drama queen.”

“Hey, language,” Noah barked and almost laughed at Hannah’s wide-eyed astonishment because Puck would have let it slide, but then Puck was sixteen.

Hannah recovered quickly and feigned disinterest before saying, “Why did she have to pick now? I want to join the tumbling team. I have to start now if I’m want to be a Cheerio.”

“How much do you need,” he asked.

“No money unless I get good enough to compete, just a permission slip,” she said. “We wear gym clothes but we work on dance steps and all the stuff approved for our age. But if I don’t start now I won’t have a shot at making the team in junior high. And you don’t stand a chance at Cheerio if you weren’t on the JV team. I don’t want to be a loser.”

Stopping at a light, Noah said, “First off the only people who are losers are people who stop trying,”

“Like, Ma,” Hannah said under her breath.

Noah ignored her and continued, “And secondly, do what you want to do, not what you think will make you cool. Because wasting your life doing something because other people like to do it and you don’t, is very uncool. I know cool; what makes stuff cool is passion. You wanting something and working towards it, regardless of if anyone else wants to do it, that’s cool.”

They stopped at the apartment and packed up some clothes for the next couple days. Puck grabbed his laptop and his guitar and a couple of video games for both Hannah and himself. He reminded Hannah that they could come back tomorrow if she forgot something and then headed over to the Hudson’s where Finn was waiting for them. Carole was a saint and after dinner even gave into Hannah when she wanted to sleep in with the boys. So Noah spent the night on the floor with his sister clinging to his back like a spider monkey. The next morning Noah started to sign Hannah’s permission slip but Carole pointed out he was not, despite how he acted, an adult. She read it over and then signed it with the words ‘temporary guardian’ in parenthesis beneath her signature.

That night Rabbi and Mrs. Washburn stopped by after dinner. Noah liked Rabbi Washburn. It helped that he was closer to the age that Noah had been before this all started than the barely there adults like Mr. Schue and Miss. P. He was a good guy, had been married to a woman, that kind of reminded Noah of his nana, for about thirty years and had had an honest calling when he entered the field. It really took a jack-of-all-trades to service the tiny Jewish community of Lima. Many of the locals, used to convenience of multiple worship times and the more varied programs that they had come to expect in the bigger cities chose to drive to other synagogues further away but Rabbi Washburn always welcomed them back when inclement weather made those drives too dangerous. So Noah had no problem in listening to his advice, well not on the whole dying thing, but regarding Hannah, his mother and their home situation.

Rabbi Washburn talked to Noah and Hannah together, not releasing any of their mother’s personal details as he’d been counseling her but trying to be reassuring. It was obvious he was doing the normal editing that adults did for children. Noah watched Hannah get more and more frustrated at being out of the loop and having so many of her questions answered that it would be their mother’s decision when she was better. The anger Hannah had been displaying at how their mother’s issues were once again disrupting her life was familiar, but it was like a phantom ache. Noah could remember how trapped he often felt at the whim of his mother’s infrequent but disruptive involvement in his life and how no matter how well things were going the constant loom of her crashing his hard-won progress with one of her own personal crises had its own form of PTSD. Despite all his years of therapy and just the learning from his own life experiences he found it hard to show the same approval or celebrate someone’s triumph over addiction when the story involved a ten year battle at least when there were children involved. He was all too aware that ten years could take a kid from eight to eighteen and while that kid may be happy that their loved one was doing better, the resentment over a lost childhood or neglected adolescence didn’t just wash away when the addict made amends.

Although Noah was pretty sure Rabbi Washburn had a background in family counseling before he started his rabbinical studies he got the feeling he hadn’t dealt with a case like the Puckerman family before. Long term alcohol abuse, teenage prostitution, neglect, verbal abuse, not to mention the seething package of resentment that was Hannah, who shrieked wordlessly in frustration and stomped up to Finn’s room and slammed the door, might have occurred individually but not all together.

“Sorry,” Noah said, rising “I got this. Guess it’s been awhile since you’ve been an eight year old girl – you totally discounted the ‘Me! Me! Me!’ factor,” and he followed Hannah upstairs.

Noah, at a far more sedate and less dramatic pace, passed Carole in the hallway and nodded. He wasn’t sure but he thought the rabbi might have been following him. He slowly pushed the door to Finn’s bedroom open, staying out of the line of fire in case Hannah threw something and when it was clear ducked in. She was face down on Finn’s bed, there were probably tears but they were going to be angry or frustrated tears, like him, Hannah didn’t cry when she was sad. He started rubbing her back in slow measured circles. He was aware Carole was listening, he wasn’t sure about Finn. At sixteen, for the first time, he would have blown this off with an ‘I don’t know’ and changed the subject or tried to get her to laugh. But he was all too aware that they had lost Hannah to drugs and that she had inherited his mother’s vulnerability to addiction so he just started talking.

“The thing about pain, that they never tell you when you’re a kid, is how necessary it is. Pain is kind of nature’s way of saying ‘don’t do that’ like, sticking your hand in a fire or grabbing sharp things, it teaches us to keep ourselves safe. We need it. If you can’t feel anything, like if your foot is numb, you won’t know if you’re hurting yourself. You can have this bleeding gash that is killing you or getting infected and if you don’t feel the pain you never clean it or get it fixed and you die.”

He kept rubbing her back but she’d stilled she was kind of listening, or else she’d fallen asleep. He said, “I know we get told all the time that drugs and alcohol are bad. Mostly they just say don’t do it or explain how much trouble you’ll be in or what the punishment will be if you do. The important thing to remember though is that they numb you; they make you unaware of the pain and that pain is there to keep you safe. You not only make bad decisions when you’re drunk or high, you don’t even realize that there’s a decision to make because you don’t realize that that gash on your foot is killing you.”

“Why do people do it then? Why is she always drinking?” Hannah asked into Finn’s pillow.

Noah sighed and said, “Why do you spin around in circles? It feels good. It feels good to be disoriented and light headed, well, until you barf from spinning in circles too much. So people drink, and if they do it in moderation, if they stop before they’re barfing, it doesn’t seem to hurt them. But Ma tries to keep that feeling all the time, she tries to stay in a constant state of lightheadedness, in a state where she doesn’t notice the pain. The problem being, the pain she didn’t notice as a result being numb wasn’t just her own. And other people started to notice that the blood dripping from that gash wasn’t on her, it was on me, and you. So now the other people are trying to get her to feel that pain and do something to fix things, which overwhelmed her. While she’s been numb all these years things have built up. Life is messy, like your room. If you work on it every day, making your bed, putting away your clothes; it’s manageable. But if you let it slide for weeks, or months or years – well it’s just easier to pull the door closed and take my room.” That at least got a huff of a laugh from Hannah so he continued, “Ma’s mess is huge, and when it was pointed out to her and she saw what was involved with cleaning it up she just wanted to go back to being numb again.”

“What’s going to happen to us if she closes the door and moves on to something easier?” Hannah said, into Finn’s pillow.

Noah sighed. If he was physically fifty six it would be a piece of cake. But he was sixteen and he had no idea what would happen, or what their options were. He said, “I don’t know, that might be what Rabbi Washburn was trying to talk to us about before you pulled your drama queen act.”

“I,” she said as she rolled to face him, “am not a drama queen.

He offered her a smirk and held his thumb and forefinger about half an inch apart and said, “Just a little bit.”

“I don’t want…” Hannah sat up and angrily swiped her sleeve over her face, sniffing deeply, “if they send us away, will they send us together? You’ve always taken care of me Noah. I’ll miss Ma, but I just can’t… they can’t take you.”

Noah pulled her into a hard hug because he knew that the way state homes worked, that they would be separated, he’d be in with teens probably in some group home and she’d be placed with kids, hopefully in a good foster family who cared about her. It was a measure to how scared she was that she just clung to him like he was her only lifeline.

There was a noise by the door and Noah turned expecting to see Carole but it was Rabbi Washburn. He said, “Kids, I apologize. I should have reassured you right away, that you’re not going to be separated. My wife and I would like you to come live with us. Your mother and I were talking about you staying with us while she went into rehab before this setback. Your grandmother is acting on her behalf and has named us your guardians. This way should cause the least disruption to your lives. You can stay in the same schools, with your friends and we’ll revisit what to do in the long term after the first of the year.”

Hannah just gaped at him but Noah said, “That’s months from now, I thought those programs were twenty eight days?”

Rabbi Washburn looked surprised that a teenager had that kind of specify knowledge about rehab but seemed to dismiss it before he said, “Well, you mother is in no state to enter rehab right now, she’s ill. After the mandatory seventy two hours observations we’re going to get her help and when she’s physically able to we’ve got her a spot in a good a program, but to get one that is sponsored by a research grant and state aid she’ll have to go to Cleveland. Once she’s successfully completed that she’ll be in a halfway house working on her coping skills and then once she’s taking care of herself we’ll revisit her capacity to take care of the both of you.”

And just like that they were moved in with the Washburns. The Washburns had had one child, a son who had gone to UCLA for track and field, was now married and some kind of federal agent in Los Angeles. Noah was put in the son’s room and Hannah was given the guest room, they lived within walking distance to the synagogue and Rabbi was right, there was very little disruption in their day to day routine. Noah and Finn would go over and pack up everything in the apartment over the weekend and store it at the Washburns’ place. Finn seemed kind of disappointed like he thought the two of them could have slept on his floor until they graduated.

The next day was Friday and their first away game, with all the excitement they hadn’t really discussed the glee club. Quinn weighted in that she didn’t think Finn should join. Finn hadn’t shared the extortion attempt with anyone other than Puck but he seemed to feel bad for Mr. Schue. It was obvious that starting this thing meant a lot to him and the idea that this was such a big thing in an adult’s life was kind of sad. Finn had always been a sucker for sad. Currently Quinn was off with the rest of Cheerios and they were lounging around Finn’s locker talking about nothing in particular when Finn asked, “what would you do if I joined the glee club.”

“Join with you, and probably strong arm a couple other guys on the team like Matt or Mike to join too,” Noah said.

Finn looked confused and said, “Why? You think glee club is for losers.”

“No, I think they are losers. The club currently consists of that obnoxious Berry girl, the Hummel kid, that goth Asian chick with the stutter, the guy in the wheel chair and the pushy Black chick whose apparently the only kid in school to think Hummel is straight, but if you joined I’d join. A, you’re not a loser and b, I’m not letting some creepy teacher get you into some kind of trouble,” he said.

Finn said, “I don’t think he’s creepy I just think he’s desperate.”

“One and the same, bro,” he said, “but if we do this we lay down the law with that guy. No more extortion or fake drug busts, no yearbook photos, and he’s not here reliving his glory days; if he wants a show choir, a real one, well then, we plan to compete. That means running it like the Cherrios or the football team. We’re not going to be like the AV club, we research our division, plan an attack and practice, practice, practice, I don’t want my name on some pathetic remake of stupid human tricks.”

“I loved those on Youtube,” Finn said, “but yeah, we don’t want to be like that. Do you think we could, compete that is?”

“Yeah, we might be okay, it’ll take time to build up to a chance at winning anything major, but we need the playbook. Ask him if there is some kind of rule book for show choirs and see if he has a season schedule or however they compete,” Puck said and then added, “you want to go now before first bell and ask?”

After they borrowed the copy of the rule book and tentatively agreed to come to the next meeting, which Schue wanted to have that day after school but they had a game in the evening so the next meeting was moved to Monday. On the way to homeroom Noah stopped to snag Brittney at Santana’s locker and told them both to come to the choir room before first bell Monday. Brittney started bouncing because well, she’d been here before but Santana scowled and asked, “Why?”

“Isn’t the fact Quinn doesn’t want to enough?” Puck asked.

Brittney said, “And because Coach will tell us to.”

Noah wondered how many of the things Brittney said that the rest of them hadn’t gotten had been a result of her having foreknowledge before, but all he said was, “Come on, homeroom’s this way.”

By Monday the football team was still bouncing off the walls. They had won a game. Sure it was six to three and the other team had sucked almost as bad as they did but it was the first game they had won in three years. It had been a pretty impressive pass that Finn threw; over twenty yards and Puck had run it almost half the field for a touchdown. Really it had been sheer luck. He didn’t know who was more surprised him or the entire defensive line of the other team. The fact that the other team’s kicker had nearly tied the game late in the fourth quarter had been nerve-wracking but the ball had fallen short of the goalposts by only a couple feet.

Puck had done some preliminary work on Mike and Matt at Fat Jack’s after the game. That was becoming their new good luck hang out after the games. Coach Tanaka had even shown up with Miss. P and taken a bow when they all clapped. Coach probably thought they were crediting him with the win but most of the team was just impressed he had a date with her finally.

Finn had apparently spent some time over the weekend translating ‘Football Coaching for Dummies’ into ‘Show Choir Coaching for Dummies’ and had a brand new notebook to go with the show choir rulebook Mr. Schue had lent him. As soon as they arrived at the choir room Finn took Mr. Schue aside while the others were arriving and started on his list of questions. At this point Finn probably knew more than Shue about the rulebook but it was funny to see the bewildered expression on Shue’s face. If Finn was able to channel even a portion of this kind of drive into his academics he would have really gone far.

Berry seemed put out that Finn was monopolizing Mr. Schue’s time and wanted to start auditions, like they could afford to tell anyone they couldn’t be there they had needed all twelve of them to be eligible to compete. Which Finn said when he asked her who else were they saving spots for? Quinn had showed up with San and Britt and that might have been on Coach’s order or it might just be she didn’t want San taking over her place as HBIC. Mike said flat out he couldn’t sing but Noah pointed out while he might not have a wide range, he could indeed sing – that everyone could. Rachel looked like she wanted to argue that point but the Cheerios had prepared a girl group number and the idea of scoping out her competition distracted her.

After that Mike sang, inexpertly a verse of Pink Floyd’s ‘Wish You were Here’ and Matt did some sort of rap that sounded like he was bitching about his mom. And Puck was glad he and Finn had been messing around with his guitar since this all started because it had just taken a look and they agreed to perform together like the Cheerios. It was an old song so Mr. Shue should like it but it’s not a power ballad but it was something he and Finn had been practicing. Evenings after training camp they had gone through a lot of Simon and Garfunkel because those songs had been written for two part harmony accompanied by a guitar. But this was from the Nineties and suited for their voices and if there was one thing his years of vocal training had taught him it was to pick material suited for his voice. So there wasn’t a sound in the choir room when he pulled out his guitar and Finn kept time with a drum brush with a duet of Extreme’s ‘More than Words’.

“Oh my God,” was Rachel’s response when they finished to silence. Kurt looked more in love with Finn than ever and even Quinn looked gobsmacked like she hadn’t known either of them could sing.


	6. Chapter 6

 

Noah was pretty sure Finn told Schue he needed to order a copy of ‘Coaching Show Choir for Dummies’ which surprisingly might be the one book the ‘For Dummies’ company hadn’t published yet. Given the amount of work that Finn was putting in on the football team and that he still had to be a student, there was no way he could devote the kind of time to glee he previously had so Noah suggested someone else in the club lead it. Fortunately this conversation took place with Schue after Spanish class when Rachel wasn’t present. Noah pointed out that he knew enough about her that her endless drive to be the star would not let her make good decisions for the group as a whole and suggested a committee in charge like Finn had people in charge of the various teams making up the football team. Finn chimed in that they needed to divide the committee into things like music, dance and costumes. Schue seemed bewildered that the jocks were taking over but Noah suggested they should pick people who had already been in the choir, just anyone but Rachel. Schue picked Tina, Kurt and Mercedes, to be in charge of mapping out their first competition which would be with local schools in an invitational showcase at one of the other schools for all the groups competing in the divisional round. Not all would accept the invitation, and the host school wouldn’t compete but it was a way to scope out some of the competition before the holidays and would give all of them a chance to see what a show choir was and did. The actual divisional rounds would start in January with the winner going to compete in sectionals. At least Mr. Schue’s choices for the coleaders met with Finn’s approval because Finn was looking to tap Artie to manage the football team’s performance off the field in relation to who was passing and who needed tutors.

This was all decided before their next meeting Wednesday before school started and Noah was pretty sure that if Rachel could think of something to accuse them of for making decisions without her she would. She was hell-bent on doing a duet with Finn and Schue seems pretty jazzed for them to sing ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ in competition. And before he realized it the old gang was together and it was weird with no Sam or Blaine or all the random other people whose names he forgot but it was good to have them all together, despite the feeling of impending doom in regard to the inevitable drama and angst. Quinn wasn’t pregnant, that he knew of, at least not by him. But Schue had always had more issues than ‘Rolling Stone’. And now that Noah thought back to some of the strange happenings of sophomore year, with April Rhodes coming back to school and Mrs. Schue using her background in retail to somehow work as the school’s nurse it seemed that some crisis must be just around the corner.

The thing he had to get used to, and that set him most on edge was having a safe home that he was in no way responsible for. He had slipped so easily into the mindset of his sixteen year old self, because even at sixteen he had pretty much taken care of himself. He had slotted seamlessly into his old routine of keeping up with all the day to day pressures and handling an alcoholic, and a kid so that now that he only had to go to school and practice and was supposed to let the adults take care of putting food on the table and paying the bills he didn’t know how to do that. He’d never really had had that. Never had anyone just take care of him, he didn’t know what to do with all his time now that he didn’t have any responsibilities. He’d been a workaholic who always had a job, a lover and still managed a class or two. So just having to sit all day in school was driving him crazy, it felt like he was wasting so much time.

He’d taken to carrying a notebook of staff paper to work on songs and an extra note book in which he just analyzed glee club, trying to apply what he had learned about music and voice over his lifetime to what he remembered and what he was observing now. The song writing was hard because he normally wrote the melody when picking it out on a guitar or piano, and he was surprised by how much he missed having a piano. But he had no trouble refining the harmonies or accompaniments around a melody he had already written while just sitting in classes. And he had a wealth of songs he had written before, in the future, that he could just recreate from memory.

So now that they were a glee club, Kurt apparently found the courage to talk to Finn. The fact that the first time he said something instead of just staring at him from across the hall was to request Finn get him on the football team was odd. Puck had never looked into why Kurt had started his brief turn as kicker but he wondered if Hummel realized just how seriously Finn was taking the team right now. Puck was pretty sure he’d make it on, but Finn would not just let him quit the way he had given how driven he was now.

They snagged Bennett and had Kurt meet them before practice that day. When Kurt started some bullshit about being an artist and needing music, and his body being a soufflé, Puck said, “I thought the purpose of this was to not get your ass kicked.”

“I just want my dad…” Kurt started.

Puck rolled his eyes and said, “Please do not let the next words be ‘not know that I’m gay’ because if that were true you would not wear the shit you do.”

“I’m not! It’s high fashion,” He sputtered.

Puck said, “Its high something, I swear I think I’m stoned when I see some of that shit. You couldn’t model your wardrobe on Brian Kinney instead of Emmett Honeycutt.”

“How do you even know-” Kurt started.

But Noah cut him off with, “Cable,” because he hadn’t seen it when it was out but Jessi a hot Latina chick that had been like Santana without the mean had loved, loved, loved Emmett and made him watch it years later, because she said it was some kind of a cultural icon of the early millennia.

“Dude you watched a gay show?” Bennett asked.

Puck said, “They had lesbians making out.”

“Oh,” Bennett said, because yeah, they were teenagers.

Finn was looking frustrated by the non-focus on football and just started spewing information at Kurt. Like the kid was from some foreign country and had never heard of football. But Finn gave him an overview of scoring, what a kicker did, when he would be on the field. By the time practice started they had determined Kurt was better than Bennett, that didn’t take much and Finn brought coach in. Bennett was just happy to be out of the doghouse because even though they won he had missed the extra point which would have cost them the game if the other teams’ kicker hadn’t been just as bad.

Adams and Karofsky made a comment about not wanting Kurt in the locker room but Puck turned drill sergeant on them and spent the next twenty minutes emasculating both the offence and defense and in general implying no one in the sighted community would want to see any of them naked. It got so bad Tanaka even looked like he might step in but Finn distracted him by having him get Kurt set up with a uniform. Noah was pretty sure that the coach hadn’t even realized Finn had been the one to give Kurt the spot on the team. So Kurt was sent home with the instructions to learn to hear the music in his head and not dance with the ball. Hopefully he could get it done before Friday which was their next home game.

While actually attending class for a change took time, Noah found himself at loose ends because he was getting most of his work done at school and the extra hours he and Finn spent working on the team and the choir didn’t eat up what he used to devote to, well paying the bills and maintaining his bad ass reputation. He didn’t want to even suggest getting a part time job because all the adults, the Washburns, Justine, even Miss. Pillsbury were leery of how he might choose to make money. So he actually went to Rabbi Washburn and told him he was bored now that Mrs. Washburn was attending to most of his childcare duties and that he didn’t have to come up with cash to fill in the gaps. And that was how he ended up helping some of the Hebrew classes for the kids and surprising the man who had conducted his own class a few years ago. His phrases were no longer rote learned or memorized, he could converse. It had taken him ten years to master the language in his free time but he was pretty comfortable with teaching it although he was going to suggest getting Rosetta Stone for the synagogue.

Mrs. Washburn had been quite impressed with Hannah’s school clothing. She even let him take them back to Columbus to the resale shops to get Hannah some winter wear, which she insisted on paying for. Both the Washburns kind of watched him with Hannah, Noah was almost convinced they were taking notes and studying him for some sociology class. As he knelt in front of Hannah in the resale shop after having her try on Kelly green over-boots he hoped that it wasn’t because they thought he was up to anything creepy with her. He knew the reputation he’d established was still around town and he hoped they weren’t thinking of him as a sex offender even though he technically was, because prostitution was illegal.

“Everyone will laugh,” Hannah said, petulantly.

Noah said, “They match the scarf and gloves you liked and coordinate with the navy coat. It goes together, you want me to call Santana and have her confirm that navy and green are an acceptable combination, she has ovaries and apparently the knowledge of color coordination is limited to those things.”

Hannah tried not to smile and Mrs. Washburn looked surprised, probably that her ovaries were not being used as a litmus test as to if they should get the boots.

“Hannah, dry feet are cool. Walking around in wet shoes that have slogged through the slush is not cool, or comfortable,” he said, “you only wear these into the school, you take them off and leave them with your coat and junk and then your shoes are dry. You will thank me in February.”

She huffed a sigh and said, “These aren’t in the stores. What if someone asks me where I got them?”

“Tell the truth,” he said.

She looked angry, “Mrs. Washburn said she’d buy me new stuff.”

“New stuff that will not keep your feet dry, you said it, the stores are not stocking the kinds of boots that go over your street shoes. If you get the boots that don’t go over your shoes you’ll have to carry your shoes and change every day and you will forget to bring them and have to wear snow boots all day; I’ve met you. The only reason people will ask where you got them is because they look good, especially with your new coat – okay new to you – but you don’t have to give them the name and address of where you shop. When someone says ‘oh, I like those where did you get them’ tell the truth, say, ‘in Columbus’,” Noah reasoned with her. He had forgotten how early it started for her, realizing that no matter how cool or popular they were they had always been different from the rest of the kids; maybe because by this time the last time he’d been distracted by the whole ‘Quinn and Finn and Babygate’.

Hannah looked up and Mrs. Washburn and asked, “Is that okay, is it not lying if I don’t tell them my clothes aren’t new?”

“You don’t have to answer any questions you don’t want to dear, and telling them you got them in Columbus is completely truthful. But you shouldn’t be ashamed to buy resale. Even people who have plenty of money shop consignment shops, and not just to save money, sometimes, like your boots – which do indeed look lovely with your coat and scarf – the people who shop here want to find something that isn’t available to everyone else, they want their own style and they don’t want to show up wearing the same coat as three other people. Even people without ovaries can develop their own style,” she said. Noah felt himself ducking his head because sometimes this woman made him feel like he really was sixteen.

He shared with Justine during their next session how uncomfortable he was with just letting the Washburns take over. They had a long talk and he got that to her he was sixteen but he just looked at her and asked, “Is this the same advise you would give if I was thirty and she was my daughter? That I should just step back out of her life because there are other people able and willing to fill the role of dad?”

“Noah, you’re not her father,” Justine said.

He stood abruptly and began to pace before asking, “How am I not her father? Because there are kids all over who are raised by people who weren’t involved in their conception, but those people are still parents. Yeah, I was eight and didn’t do the same quality of job that, pretty much any adult would have done in the act of parenting – but for eight years, no one else stepped up. I fed her, I bathed her, when she has nightmares; it’s me she still comes to. Granted that’s because Ma usually didn’t wake when she went to her but now I’m her go to on everything that she needs help with. Yes, I’ve raised a foulmouthed little tomboy and I’m sure if she’d been with the Washburns all this time she’d be happier and smarter and better in touch with her feelings, but… That’s being a parent, not necessarily a good one, if I step back isn’t it going to seem like one more parent dumped her?”

“Noah, you have to let yourself be a kid or at least an adolescent, the kind of pressure you’ve put yourself under isn’t healthy,” she said.

Noah sighed, he knew all the rage, the bad decisions that had resulted from his lashing out but he was an adult, he could work around it now, he said, “But I’m a kid, with a kid. I don’t know, it’s like, it’s nice that there are people now who want to help, but I can’t help wondering what will happen, after the first of the year, if we go back with Ma, then Hannah gets jerked around again, do I step up or do we let Ma fumble the ball again. Hannah is already getting attached to the Washburns, so when they dump us with Ma, how many times will that go back and forth if Ma slips back. Do we go back to the Washburns or will they eventually get tired of being jerked around by Ma and her pity-fest? Will we get split up, people will get tired, they’ll get frustrated and give up on Ma and then, if I’m not there what will happen to Hannah?”

“The reason Rabbi and Mrs. Washburn took you in is they want to take care of both of you, not just Hannah. You’ve never really had that Noah. I know you said your friend Finn’s mother always let you stay and fed you but that’s treating you like a guest, you deserved to have parents, people who put your wellbeing ahead of their own convenience,” Justine said.

Justine, like Miss. Pillsbury, had a habit of loaning out educational material. Instead of pamphlets she had a library of various self-help books and this time when she offered he went over to her shelf and took three. She raised an eyebrow at him when they were all parenting manuals so he said, “Maybe I can figure out what this thing called parents are and how to deal with them. I kind of get the feeling the Washburns are studying me like some Jane Goodall research project. So who knows, maybe parenting books will teach me how to have parents, since it’s sort of new ground.”

She offered him a watery smile like he was breaking her heart and he wanted to just shake her and say ‘I don’t need parents I’m in my fifties’ but getting committed like his ma didn’t sound like fun so he just nodded and left.

Interlude: Kurt

It wasn’t as if Kurt had never noticed Noah Puckerman. You real couldn’t – not – notice Puckerman. He was, despite his penchant for ridiculous haircuts, consistently dressing as if he had both gotten dressed in the dark and from a pile of other people’s previously slept in clothing, his unclean personal habits and general air of jackbooted thugdom, unfortunately the best looking boy in school; in the whole school not even just the sophomore class.

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately for Kurt’s peace of mind and to forestall yet another unrequited crush, he was also an ass. Kurt had noticed him of course but unlike Puck’s near constant companion the tall, handsome and amicable, yet sadly dim Finn Hudson, Puckerman had some socially aware sixth sense that let he spot a direct hit to one’s fragile psyche from the length of the school. Puck knew what bothered each individual and had probably in that obviously ‘destined for a life of crime’ brain of his, sussed out each member of the student body and faculty’s deepest darkest secrets simply by observing the direction and degree of their flinches.

And other than to avoid him; Kurt had as little to do with the aforementioned Puck as possible. It wasn’t always possible of course, although to tell the truth Puck pretty much ignored Kurt this year. It was hard however to avoid him all together because he was nearly inseparable from Finn Hudson and Finn’s locker was located right across the hall from Kurt’s. Finn’s potentially violent shadow had taken to smirking knowingly if Kurt even seemed to glance in Finn’s direction. Today, in particular, most of Puckerman’s ire however seemed to be directed at the football team. Kurt wasn’t sure exactly what Puckerman did on the football team but this year Finn was the quarterback and Puck’s job, so to speak, seemed to involve following him around and saying horrible things to people at great volume. Kurt resolved, as he quickly made his way out of the locker room – filled with naked boys - to never have that rage turned on him. He’d rather have a hundred frozen drinks tossed in his face than endure the dressing down that had started just before Finn showed him into Coach Tanaka’s office and start loading him down with forms and lists. That rant was still going on now as Kurt was making his way to his car. Kurt was pretty sure as he left with his head down, carefully not even glancing their way that some of those boys were in tears.

So he went home, broke the news to his dad that he was on the football team and after popping a pan of vegetarian lasagna into the oven went downstairs to mull things over while it baked. His dad had that guarded anticipatory look on his face when Kurt had told him he joined the team. His dad seemed to have that look and to be warily tense much more often now. It was why Kurt had agreed to help Brittney when she said she wanted to kiss everyone all over again; whatever that had meant. And aside from confirming he was gay with a capital G - Brittney’s description - it had made him feel incredibility guilty, despite it being Brittney’s idea, not because the entire school was convinced she and Santana together were dating Puck, but that he felt as if he were taking advantage of the fact she just wasn’t terribly bright.

And given Puckerman’s reputation and despite Brittney rather freely bestowing her favors Kurt had no doubt that if he or anyone else hurt her Puck would end them. Kurt sighed, he was back to thinking about Noah Puckerman again. That had been happening more and more since he and Dad had run into him on the way to grief counseling. Those still monthly visits were becoming an exercise in the true torture of silence. He didn’t talk about how his dad, tensely waiting to have his suspicions confirmed, was making him feel like he might shatter into a million pieces and his father didn’t talk how embarrassing having a son like him was. They had been seeing the same family counselor for years, it was silly to keep spending the money; they were both functioning fine. Sure there were things that they didn’t talk about but there were things they couldn’t talk about.

For instance, after the encounter with Puckerman they went right into the office and sat down and barely mentioned it. His dad had said on the way in, ‘not a friend, I take it’ and Kurt had looked at him and said, ‘we don’t see eye-to-eye’ and then proceeded to spend their allotted time seething not at Puckerman but at his dad. The thug had flat out stated he didn’t like him and Kurt had stated he was being harasses. And yet Puck of all people, seemed to know what to say to make his dad think it was his fault. His dad hadn’t grown up as well-to-do as they were now. He’d worked most of his life and worked especially hard when he started his own business. So Puck implying that Kurt in anyway flaunted their affluence had apparently struck a chord with someone who had worked for everything he had. Just a week after that, right after the jocks had invaded glee club, Kurt had wanted to order a darling double breasted leather jacket from the Dolce Gabbana fall 2006 collection, really it was a steal at two thousand dollars; and an investment, the steampuck look would wear well and he was sure it would be a wardrobe staple for years, and his father had for the first time in his life asked, “do you really need another jacket?” Puckerman was diabolical. With a few well-placed words like ‘rich boy’ and ‘looking down your nose’ he somehow had Dad wondering if Kurt were picking on other kids instead of the way it really was.

Mercedes had been no help when he poured this all out to her. She’s started talking about how the two of them really were blessed and they should be grateful for all that they had. He was worried she was going to shout ‘praise the lord’ or something. When he delicately alluded to the fact that Mercedes had missed the whole point, Tina had stuttered out, almost incredulously, “d.d.do you really think that, Puck is playing a part. The w.w.way he dresses, the truck he drives, what, what everyone says he was doing to make money – you think that’s all an act?”

“He wasn’t really servicing rich women for money, Tina. That’s just gossip. He’s sixteen,” Kurt had said.

Mercedes, normally willing to jump on gossip with a viciousness that gave lie to her ‘hallelujah we’re all blessed’ choirgirl image, said, “I heard they pulled him out of class the other day, something’s wrong with his mom.”

“His dad isn’t in the picture is he?” Tina said.

Mercedes looked uncomfortable, and Kurt got it, if your parent was alive they didn’t just walk away, Tina didn’t say ‘his dad’s dead’ or ‘his parents are divorced’ she said out of the picture, which implied he was in prison or skipped town or something else that meant his kids were on their own. Kids, Kurt thought and said, “Brittney said he has a younger sister.”

“Hannah, she’s eight,” Tina volunteered and then added, “I b.b.babysat a slumber party of eight year olds, Hannah’s hot older brother has quite the fan base. From the way they talk, he – he’s kind of her only reliable parent.”

“Puck?” Mercedes asked, “Tosses people into dumpsters, nails furniture to roofs and is deadly accurate with slushies, Puck? A dad? Not that I don’t believe with his… promiscuous reputation he probably won’t have a kid before the end of high school – but if he’s her best option someone needs to get her out of that house.”

“I don’t think they have a house,” Kurt offered, “I think I heard something about subsidize housing, I’m pretty sure most of that in this district would be the apartment blocks in Lima Heights. But I’m sure it’s not… do you think I flaunt my dad’s money?”

“I w.w.wouldn’t say flaunt,” Tina said quickly, and he was, for that, he really was grateful because Mercedes, the traitor, bit her lip. Tina continued hesitantly, “I think you just don’t think about money. It d.d.doesn’t occur to you that the reason someone’s hair is, what did you call it ‘the unfortunate skinhead look’, that it’s not a choice but the only option. The reason Puck’s hair is not styled could be… b. because, maybe, he cuts it himself. When you look at his clothes and truck and hair, well, you see just like yours, an overall style choice. As if he p.p.put together a look, a look that said he was trying to play the part of a small town hoodlum. B.b.but I think the small town badass look comes from shopping second hand and wearing castoffs, cutting his own hair, driving the least expensive truck he can keep on the road. Puck is a kid from a bad home, in the bad part of town.”

“A bad kid, from a bad home, in the bad part of town,” Kurt said.

Mercedes bristled and said, “I’m going to pray for him and for his sister. Do you think she’s a bad kid too? She’s eight, Kurt. I feel really guilty. I volunteer at my church, collect everything from can goods to clothing around our congregation but it never occurred to me we had people here in this school…You said something happened to his mom, and his dad’s not around, what do you think will happened to him and his sister? Do they have any family?”

“Shh,” Tina hissed and disappeared behind her hair. It was only Finn and he was just about the most oblivious person, especially when Quinn Fabray was chattering at him. However, Quinn had some uncanny mean girl radar that picked up any comments made by losers about the top tier of the school’s social elite. And a few members of that tier were shockingly, at least currently, also members of glee club. Kurt wasn’t able to shake the feeling that this was all some elaborate prank and the jocks and cheerleaders were planning to walk out laughing at a moment designed to cause the rest of them the most embarrassment.

It had been so strange out on the field. Finn had been really patience, almost eager to show off his knowledge of football and it seemed silly that he spent so much time on that but then judging by Puck’s cracks the rest of the team would probably think the amount of time Kurt spent on fashion and grooming to be just as silly. He really couldn’t get over the fact that Noah Puckerman even knew who Brian Kinney and Emmett Honeycutt were let alone noticed the difference in their style of dress. But Puck was dressing better, not high fashion but clean unripped jeans and less flannel despite the chillier weather, he had had a v-neck tight weave sweater on the other day in a very flattering shade of burgundy. Of course he’d probably stretched it out by pushing up the sleeves, just to show off his amazing arms.

And when Puck read Rachel the riot act after she tried to steal the solo from Tina, Kurt didn’t know who had been more surprised. Tina was not only in shock that anyone defended her, she had been pretty sure Puck didn’t know her name. But while Kurt couldn’t speak for the others, the reason he had trailed out behind them was that he was a little afraid Rachel was about to be picked up, tossed over one of Puckerman’s broad shoulders and carried out to a dumpster. That might have been less shocking that what he’d heard. The fact that Puck knew the difference between a light lyric soprano and a mezzo-soprano or knew that there was even such a thing as a countertenor was surreal. Up until he heard Puck explaining what a choir was to Rachel, Kurt would have placed money on the fact that the only soprano Puck knew of was named Tony.

So maybe he owed Puck some kind of apology, but Puck owed him like a hundred apologies and if Kurt had a chance of figuring out this whole jock subculture they might be able to just ignore the whole thing. But he couldn’t forget what Puck had said about his reason for joining the team. He’d just said ‘know that you’re gay’ and then didn’t even acknowledge his denial as if him being gay was insignificant when compared to the way he dressed. Kurt sighed in frustration because he couldn’t say it to anyone but Mercedes and Tina but Puck had just admitted to watching ‘Queer as Folk’ on the football field to other football players and nothing happened to him, how was that fair?

While Finn had detailed football to a degree Kurt could have done without, Puckerman had only one demand. He had only asked one thing from Kurt and that was a commitment. Puck said that he didn’t want Kurt pulling a Rachel Berry and storming out in a huff, if they put him on the team, he was part of the team and the team relied on each other, he made Kurt promise to finish out the season. They had already played two of the eight games on the schedule and Finn seemed to be the only one who thought that they had a shot at the playoffs. But Puck said regardless of if they did or did not go into the playoffs that the season would be over by the end of November, so barring injury - and Kurt had to ask himself what the hell was he even thinking doing something where they added that caveat to the agreement - Kurt was on the team for the rest of the season.

So he was on the team; a team of naked jocks that showered together after every practice and game. A team that contained Noah Puckerman who was apparently very sexually experienced and made causal comments about watching a show that contained pretty steamy guy on guy action. A team that consisted of Finn Hudson, who seemed oblivious to flirting and yet who hadn’t so much as blinked when Puck was taking about lesbians making out, and instead waxed poetically about football. Their bromance was legendary and had been going on for years, but maybe Kurt needed to keep a closer eye on them because he couldn’t shake the feeling he was missing something.


	7. Chapter 7

 

 

Interlude: Finn

Finn drove his mom over to the Washburns’ place. She usually didn’t go to the away games, but the Washburns were going and taking Hannah to the game and had suggested she come with them. Hannah was really excited; she’d never been to one of their games. Puck was leaving his truck and riding to the school with Finn to get the bus with the team, the Washburns were going to drop his mom off at home after the game so he and Puck would hopefully be celebrating after the game.

Puck bumped his shoulder to Finn’s and offered a smile, and then he took a knee in front of Hannah and told her she’d be their good luck at the first away game. Hannah was sweet, she had Puck’s smile, which she offered up flirtatiously when she told Finn good luck. Everyone else wished them luck and then they left. On the way to Finn’s truck Puck bumped him again, gave him the same smile that Hannah did and said, “Better tell Quinn she has a rival.”

And just for a minute Finn thought Puck meant himself and then it hit him, Puck was teasing him about Hannah’s crush so he smiled and said, “We don’t want to unleash scary Quinn on our girl.”

Before the whole prostitution thing, before Finn had seen Puck scared, the way he had been when his mom got sick, or whatever you called it, and Puck had thought people were scaring Hannah when he wasn’t there to take care of her, Finn had never had a moment when his brain blipped like it just had. That brief instant when he thought the rival Puck meant Quinn had, was Puck and not Puck’s little sister. It wasn’t the sex though, he’d known Puck was having sex for years, although it turned out if he’d been a better friend he might have figured out that it wasn’t a good thing. Maybe it was that Puck told him he loved him. And if Finn were totally honest, Puck showed him that he loved him, the same way he showed Hannah that he loved her. He listened and even when he didn’t understand he tried to understand. He looked out for Finn, had his back, steered him away from the volatility of Quinn Fabray. And he trusted that Finn had his back just the same. Finn was totally comfortable with admitting to himself that he would have blown the whole birthday present, the charm bracelet not only didn’t compete with anything from Quinn’s dad, but as Puck pointed out he could get her a charm or something on Valentine’s Day and win all kinds of points and not have to spend an arm and a leg.

He loved Puck. And maybe on that night that Puck had told him he loved him he’d laid awake in a cold sweat wondering if that meant he was gay. But Puck had said it first and it was amazing, no one but his mom had ever said it. Not Quinn, who was all about ruling the school together and despite finding her beautiful, the whole, if you do this, I’ll let you touch my boob, under the shirt, over the bra was not cool. Because - he wasn’t planning to turn that down if she was offering - but he didn’t get where she got off looking down at Puck for as he called ‘fucking for funds’ when she was offing up petting for various demands. How was what she doing any less a business transaction? Do this for me, and I’ll do that for you; just because she wanted things other than currency was still kind of prostitution and without the motivation Puck had. He wondered if she’d slap him if next time she pulled her ‘I’ll let you, for this’ he just offered her cash, because he really didn’t get the difference.

“You’re really focused,” Puck said as they waited at the light. “I got a good feeling; you’ve really pulled the team together.”

“Dude they’re terrified of you. Did you get an ‘Intimidation for Dummies’ book and not tell me,” Finn asked.

Puck offered him a wicked smile and said, “My therapist says I’m channeling a lot of rage – I figure this is a positive outlet.”

“You know, you’re the first person, beside my mom, to ever tell me you loved me,” Finn said and immediately regretted it because they hadn’t talked about that since that day right before school started and maybe it was too gay to bring it up now, or ever.

But Puck said, “I won’t be the last, man. You’re awesome. Wait, Quinn hasn’t? You’ve been going together since just after Christmas.”

“I think I’m just… what’s that word that it helps you do what you want?” Finn said.

Puck said, “Advantageous? Do you mean advantageous to being popular or advantageous to being happy?”

“Being popular is what makes Quinn happy,” Finn said.

“Are you happy? Because you’re sixteen and a sophomore, I don’t think everyone you spend time with has to be the person you think you’re going to marry but they should be someone who makes you happy - if you know you’re not getting paid for it. You don’t have to have everything figured out, but you should be having fun,” Puck said.

Finn blew out a breath and thought about not saying anything. But since Puck had started therapy he didn’t have that bottled rage that might burst out in a punch or a trip to the dumpster. So he ventured, “If I was dating the person who makes me happy and who I have fun with I’d be dating you.”

“Well if you and Quinn break up, I’ll ask you out,” Puck said as they pulled into the school lot, and Finn released the breath he didn’t know he was holding and offered Puck a rueful smile as they got out of his truck.

Interlude: Rachel

Noah Puckerman was the most disagreeable boy; possibly ever, in the entire world. He had a habit of starting sentences, ‘but in the real world we…’ every time he was telling her no. Who was he to tell her no? She had just stormed dramatically out of the choir room and when she heard the footsteps behind her she was sure it was Mr. Schuester coming to lure her back with the well-deserved solo. Instead it was that boy.

Noah said, “Berry, you’re a strong soprano, two octave range, you have a good grasp of your instrument, you know what it can and can’t do, you’re strengths are breath control, dynamic, intonation and delivery,” and Rachel turned smiling because that was more like it but then he continued, “of course your chest register can be piercing and overbearing and you turn every number into a Broadway show tune,” and if she were not so firmly against violence she would have walked right over and slapped him, but he kept going, “and that won’t win – it just won’t. Its show choir, not show tune, the operative word is choir. We can help you, not only learn to soften the Ethel Merman styling with some vibrato but we can teach you how to work with others.”

“I’m going to be a star!” she said.

Noah shook his head and said, “Not if you show up to an audition with the social skills of a celebutantes purse dog. You’re dads can’t buy you an audition and if you can’t take direction, if you insist on rewriting every role until all the numbers are yours and if you demand the director take direction from you, it won’t matter how good your voice is; no one will hire you.

Rachel started, “I’m the better than Tina; I’m the strongest singer we have I deserve the solo.”

“You’re pushier than Tina, and that’s probably something we need to work on because she deserves the spotlight too, she has a sweet lite voice with really good technical control. And regardless of if you have a wider range or not, if Mr. Schue takes it off her just because you have a toddler tantrum it will set a dangerous precedent and change the New Directions into the Rachel Berry show – you’re not the only one who can decide this isn’t something you want your name associated with,” he said in a low hard voice. Rachel wanted to step back but then he took a deep breath and let it out.

“You’re also not the best singer,” he said calmly, with a shake of his head, “Santana is a mezzo-soprano with over a two and a half octave range, she has really strong low register and her dynamic and timber is nearly on a par with yours. Kurt has a three octave range with a powerful lower register and he’s a fucking countertenor, talk about your secret weapons, how many show choirs do you think have someone like that in their arsenal? He could probably use some help getting rid of the piercing quality in some of the upper registers but that’s what a team is for, to help each other, to produce a cohesive whole that is stronger than the individual parts. Mercedes is a light lyric soprano with an over two octave range who can belt like a golden glove, she also has experience singing with a group, yes she has trouble on some of the lower notes and could work on her vocal agility but we’re just getting started, like Mike, we all have room for improvement and we will, if we work at it.”

“The thing you have to ask yourself,” he continued still calmly, “is; are you mature enough to step into the world outside your bedroom? Because you can be forty, living at home with your dads while you update your myspace channel with yet again, another show tune, or you can step out into the larger world where you learn some useful life skills and get some real world experience that will teach you how to audition for a role, work with direction, contribute to something bigger than yourself and maybe, just maybe and only if you’re significantly less crazy, make some friends.”

She looked behind him, Mr. Schue and the rest of New Directions had followed while he was talking, Santana and Quinn were looking smug but Mr. Schue, Kurt and Mercedes were staring at Noah with open mouths. She had to admit to being a bit stunned herself. Noah hadn’t jump up to perform much and sometimes didn’t seem to be giving her his full attention when she did. He was always writing in a notebook and she thought he might have been doodling or even doing homework because she assumed he had just joined glee club because Finn had. But apparently he’d been paying attention to all of them.

And so she went back with them, she was still going to talk it over with her dads. But a high school musical didn’t go on the road or anything; it would show for a week at most and at McKinley would get an audience of maybe a couple hundred. Show choir competitions got progressively bigger, many of the performing arts schools sent admissions people to scope them out. And sometimes the competitions were televised. Maybe she could do both but if she had to choose Mr. Ryerson didn’t seem to have paid as much attention to her voice as an instrument; and she was a bit worried he knew she got him fired.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

 

Puck wasn’t sure if Kurt had already taken the opportunity to introduce Burt and Carole yet or if fate just was shoving those two together. Either way the end result was that both were in the stands sitting with the Washburns when he waved at Hannah. She had never been to one of his games, not in all three years of high school last time. This time though she’d been to the first away game last week, and had been more excited that Quinn, Santana and Brittney had come to the edge of the field to say hi, than she had been that it was the first game McKinley had won in six years. She also proudly introduced the Washburns while introducing San and Britt as Puck’s girlfriends. So that had been an interesting talk to have with Rabbi and Mrs. Washburn after Hannah had gone to bed the next night.

Kurt was even paler than normal and was doing weird dance steps either to stay limber or try to keep calm. Az had started to mouth off and Puck pushed him into the wall at the edge of the field, hard, held him there and growled loud enough for the surrounding players to hear that if anyone tried to rattle Hummel they would be blamed if he missed and the rest of the team would shave all the hair off their entire body and drop them naked five miles outside of town. Everyone became oddly supportive of Kurt.

They won, seven to six. And if they had all been stunned last week this week they were wildly jubilant. The stands went crazy as well. The Cheerios had been the only team anyone had any reason to be excited about and Cheerio fans were of a different breed than a football fans. The crowd rushed the field – they seriously rushed the field. And yeah, it was over the top and ridiculous but San and Britt brought Hannah to him and he tossed her in the air and he’d never, in all their wins with glee or with football, gotten to share that with her, and it was so strange to have anyone besides Coach Beiste be proud of him. But Rabbi and Mrs. Washburn joined them in the laughing, shouting mass of people, and Brittney wanted to be thrown in the air too, and Carole hugged him as hard as she hugged Finn. Burt looked like he’d burst with pride as he hugged Kurt and it was just so overwhelming that Noah felt lightheaded and there was ringing in his ears.

And then Finn’s arms were around him and his feet left the ground as Finn spun them both in a circle. When his feet were back on the ground Finn put his mouth near his ear and said loudly, “Are you alright?”

“Ah…I’ll totally lose my rep as a badass if I faint, right?” Noah said.

Finn laughed and hugged him close, he must of snaked out one of those long arms and pulled Chang into the embrace because before Noah knew it Mike’s arm was slung over his other shoulder and he knew as his vision started to gray at least they’d keep him standing. Somehow, despite the chaos and the fact people were spraying drinks and dumping the melted ice over Tanaka, Finn found him a Gatorade, thrust it into his hand and said, “Hydrate, bro.”

The entire town could not fit into Fat Jack’s but not for lack of trying. While the team showered and changed into street clothes someone must have called ahead and ordered because by the time he and Finn got there the crowd had spilled into the street with open boxes of pizza and wings on the hoods of parked cars. Cars were driving up and down the street honking their horns, someone had saved a parking spot right out front and waved Finn into it. They were ushered in and a booth was waiting in the crowded place just for them. Quinn was smiling brightly and grabbed on to Finn’s noneating arm as soon as they had stepped out of the truck but it was that forced smile that said Finn was going to get an earful for assuming she was heading over as part of the Unholy Trinity instead of making the red carpet entrance with her on his arm.

If Noah were still sixteen he might have been stupid enough to point out to Quinn that he caught the winning pass that Finn threw and that some of the celebration was for him too. But he was older and wiser so he pulled Santana on one side and Brittney on the other and escorted them into the big center booth that had been saved for them before spending some time trying to persuade them that Sylvester’s rule on never eating didn’t apply for this evening and if they wouldn’t have pizza they should at least have chicken wings.

Before he knew it, it was Monday morning and Finn wasn’t at his locker yet. Mercedes and Kurt were nearby chattering like jays on a fence. Puck was leaning, half asleep, he couldn’t actually doze because every ten second someone was slapping his back or holding out a fist bump. And that was what brought his attention to it. No one was congratulating Kurt, who had scored the winning point. Finn and he were rock stars and the only difference in how Kurt was treated was no one was currently throwing a slushie.

Noah called over in a voice designed to carry, “Hey, Hummel, we missed you Friday at Fat Jacks, we had a pizza waiting for you.”

“Ah,” Kurt turned wild eyes first to Noah and then back to Mercedes as if he thought she could advise him what to say.

Mercedes said, “Kurt and I had a sleep over at Rachel’s.”

Noah leered because he knew Mercedes didn’t mean it to sound like that but Ben Israel was going to have a camera in her face asking about the hot threeway action before lunch and she should know better given what a big gossip she was; hell all three of them were.

Brittney bounced up and hugged Noah and said to Mercedes, “Santana, Puck and I had a sleepover too but we ate first – don’t tell Coach.”

Truth told he had just needed a place to crash. The Washburns had gone home with Hannah after the game and he had been expected to stay at Finn’s but Quinn and Finn got into it after they closed up Fat Jack’s and she expected Finn to take her home, without him. So, after handing Finn a box of condoms from the knapsack with clothes as he moved it from Finn’s truck to the car Santana was driving he agreed to just crash at Britt’s rather than slip into the Washburn’s at one thirty in the morning. Mainly due to the fact that the Washburns would notice and alert Carole that he hadn’t been with Finn. San had dropped him at Finn’s on her way home the next day which was when he had found out that Finn hadn’t spent the night with Quinn in her pool house but had broken up with her with high drama outside her house in the cab of his truck. Finn hadn’t shared details on what they had fought about and Noah thought surely it hadn’t been because Finn sent her ahead with San and Britt to Fat Jack’s instead of making them all wait so she could ride up with him, until he remembered they were all sixteen and that that probably was the reason.

So Saturday morning, on very little sleep he dragged Finn with him to the community room at the temple, which had a piano and had Finn sit in on some voice lessons he was giving Mike Chang. Mike then gave them both a lesson in dance basics, like moving your feet without crashing into things. Noah figured it would be slow going for all of them but in the long run it could only help them all. Finn had done well with no vocal training but it couldn’t hurt for him to learn how to take care of his instrument and to pick material that he didn’t have to fit his voice to or reach for but could modify to sing healthier. It had been a pretty peaceful weekend. Finn and he met with Artie on Sunday to review how the football team was doing academically and to jam a little. Artie had an okay voice that never seemed to get showcased because he was always shoehorning it into the vocal styling of the rest of glee or rapping. It wasn’t until Noah was almost asleep Sunday night that he remember what he’d said before they left for the first away game which was why he was waiting at Finn’s locker first thing on Monday. He figured he owed it to Finn to fulfil his promise and ask him out. Chances were Finn would just laugh it off, but he wasn’t going to his grave again without ever asking.

As Santana took Brittany off to scandalize the rest of the school, Kurt was in a hissing explanation with Mercedes that he didn’t want everyone thinking he was in a three way with her and Rachel. So when Finn arrived to backslaps and cheers they had as much privacy as two guys ever got when they were two thirds of the reason there was a high enough score to beat Lima North. As Finn unlocked his locker and stowed his jacket, Noah asked, “Did you get back together with Quinn since I saw you last?”

Finn looked confused and shook his head as if to clear his vision before saying, “No, dude, I saw you last night. Why?”

“Death Race is still showing at the mall, I figured if you were still split, I’d take you Wednesday after practice, we can hit Kewpee’s before if you want. I thought I’d play to my strengths with a lack of chick flicks and the willingness to actually eat. That has got to be selling points, right?”

Finn blushed and looked down, rubbed the back of his neck with one big hand and then said, “Seriously?”

“It doesn’t have to be serious, if that makes you uncomfortable. But I meant what I said. No one else I’d rather spend time with,” Puck said.

Finn looked around and then back at him and said, “Okay; sounds good.”

Wednesday came and it all went pretty normally, they had practice, showered and changed, made sure no one harassed Hummel which was easier after the win. Noah followed Finn home where he dropped his truck and they went out for burgers. Even that wasn’t unusual except instead of ordering individually they ordered together. It threw Finn off his stride a bit when Noah paid but all and all it was like so many other times the hung out together. They talked about school, about football, about glee and the upcoming weekend.

That weekend was homecoming, there was a parade to welcome visiting alumni which the Cheerios were in but not the football team. A queen, who had already been elected, was crowned at the end of the parade route. Quinn was in the court but the Queen was a senior who was dating Bennett the former kicker. The football game on Saturday was another home game, in the afternoon and there was some cheesy dance afterward in the school gym. Finn had been supposed to go with Quinn but by Tuesday she had a replacement date in the form of a junior on student council that went to her church named Kip. Really Kip, that wasn’t a nickname.

They both liked the movie, Jason Statham was a total badass and it was crazy car racing so what was not to like. It was a little after ten when he pulled up in front of Finn’s like countless times before, but it was different. Finn looked nervous. Noah hadn’t so much as brushed against him all evening. He knew stuff like this stressed Finn out and for all he knew Finn was painfully straight. But truth was Finn had died so young and spent so much of the time he should have been figuring himself out being jerked around by Quinn and Rachel and even Santana that Noah couldn’t be sure.

So after a moment, not wanting Finn to hyperventilate he said, “Thank you, for going out with me. I always have a good time with you. I’d like to do it again.”

“This was a date, wasn’t it?” Finn asked hesitantly.

Noah said, “This was a date. Did you have a good time?”

“Yeah, of course, it’s just... we do this all the time but I don’t think we’ve been dating, or have we been dating for years?” Finn said.

Noah chuckled and said, “Well I can be pretty oblivious. I didn’t even realize I was working as a prostitute until I was in my second year in the business. I think, when you strip away all the junk people expect on a date, the basic element of all dates is spending time with someone, getting to know them, seeing if you like them and if they like you. So maybe we have been dating since pee wee football.”

“But we didn’t… make out or touch or anything,” Finn said.

Noah licked his lips and said, “That… well secondly, I didn’t think either of us was ready to do that, and if we were, probably not in a movie theater. But first, I don’t think anyone should expect that - just asking someone to spend time with you means that, it’s not… you agreed to come out with me, to share your company with me, and you did, and I’m grateful. Nothing beyond that should be expected, you know. I want you to feel comfortable; I want you to set the pace. I don’t want to push you into anything.”

“Will we do this again?” Finn asked.

Noah said, “Well, you could ask me out – just to put your mind at ease, I’m gonna say yes.” Finn laughed so Noah added, “and rumor has it I’m pretty easy.”

“Hey,” Finn said, “don’t talk about my boyfriend like that.”

“Oh really? It’s like that, is it?” Noah asked.

Finn, and he couldn’t see in the dark cab if he was blushing but could tell from the dashboard light that he was embarrassed, said, “I don’t think I can do… just casual, not with you. But, I don’t know if I’m ready to tell…”

“Anyone?” Noah said. “We do this at whatever pace you feel comfortable. Including telling whoever you want, when you’re ready.”

They said goodnight and Finn got out of the truck, but leaned back in and pressed a fast chaste kiss to Noah’s lips. Finn started to pull back and then leaned in and kissed him again a bit slower and more gently and their lips slotted together and it was so natural that Noah breathed in with surprise and then their tongues brushed. Finn pulled back with a hesitant smile and Noah felt his face heat. It was ridiculous that such an act had him almost vibrating with need, but this was Finn, alive, warm and so damn young. The memory of what losing him felt like, both put a damper on Noah’s growing arousal and made it an act of willpower not to wrap his arms around him and not let go. So Noah said, surprised at how low and raspy his voice came out, “Thanks for giving me a chance.”

 


	9. Chapter 9

 

Thursday it was almost as if nothing happened, except that they both seemed ultra-aware of the other. At lunch with Bennett and Crosby, going over the previous day’s practice and the upcoming game, Bennett asked who Finn was taking to homecoming now that he and Quinn had split.

“Ah,” Finn said, “well, it’s pretty late to ask someone. I might just… I’d don’t know maybe go with Puck.”

Crosby snorted and said, “Any girl you ask would dump her boyfriend to go with you.”

“But that’s not cool, I don’t think I want to go out with someone who would do that,” Finn said.

“Besides,” Puck added, “I’m pretty much a sure thing – he knows I put out.”

Bennett looked shocked and then shook it off and said, “I thought you were going with Santana and Brittney, just share one of your dates with Finn.”

“I never asked them, why did they say I was?” Puck asked, wondering if the first of the ongoing glee drama was about to kick off.

Crosby cut in, “Dude, are you really dating both of them?”

“I wouldn’t call it dating. Dating involves asking someone out. It’s not like I’m sneaking around or lying – and they’re friends it’s not high drama and cat fights in the hall, they like spending time with each other,” Puck said.

As he and Finn were ditching their trays, Finn asked, “Are you dating Santana and Brittany?”

“Dude, I would not have asked you out if I was,” Noah said quietly, “it’s just that the Unholy Trinity is always together and when you and Quinn were doing junk they were always there. I haven’t even slept with Santana since before I got busted for prostitution. My therapist said I have to stop just having sex because people want me to. I’m supposed to figure out what I want before I do anything.”

Finn nodded and seemed reassured and then asked, “So, do we have to go to this dance? I really can’t dance. I mean I can do the whole clutch and sway thing for slow dances but when I move it gets dangerous, even with that stuff Mike showed us.”

“We don’t have to, it’s not like either of us are looking to be class president or prom king, popularity is Quinn’s shtick. What do you want to do-” he started as they made their way out of the caf, only to be interrupted by a squeal.

Squealing, Brittney came barreling down the hall toward them without slowing, Noah braced himself as she jumped and he caught her in a complicated swing, spin, throw they had perfected senior year for ‘Paradise by the Dashboard Light” which led Brittney to start singing, “I want to know right now, do you love me, will you love me forever, do you need, will you never leave me, will you make me so happy for the rest of my live, will you take me away, will you make me your wife?”

“Let me sleep on in, baby, baby let me sleep on it; let me sleep on it, I’ll give you an answer in the morning,” Noah responded as she danced back to him and Santana came up shaking her head like they were crazy.

“I’m a princess, catch me,” Brittney said to Finn who barely caught her as she jump into a bridal position.

Finn said, “Britt, I almost dropped you.”

“But you didn’t, you wouldn’t drop me. I trust you. Are you going to be a dolphin this time?” she asked, all guileless eyes and Noah wondered just how much she got away with because people dismissed her as not knowing what she was talking about.

Santana said, “We need dates and you can’t take both of us so since Frankenteen is a free agent you two are lucky, pick us up at Brittney’s after the game and take us to Breadsticks before the dance.”

“What is this; an offer we can’t refuse?” Noah said.

Finn said, “I was planning to go with Puck,” as he still held Brittney in his arms.

Santana froze, looked over at Finn but dismissed it the way she did some of Brittney’s more outrageous statements and said, “Listen, I’m doing you a favor. Quinn was tapped for the court same as we were, if you go with us you’ll be paraded onto the field at half time same as we are and be brought up on stage during the dance and get your pictures in the yearbook and school paper. You don’t want Quinn upstaging you.”

“We have to play in the game and we’re busy during halftime,” Noah said.

“Listen Puckerman, I am not spending my whole high school career playing second banana to Quinn Fabray, when senior year comes I’m going to be homecoming queen, and prom queen, and senior class president. And that starts with showing up with the star quarterback on my arm,” Santana said.

Noah looked her in the eye and said in Spanish with an accent perfected in heavy LA traffic, “I will cut you.”

Santana’s eyes widened and she took an involuntary step back. Finn gently set Brittney on the floor and said to Santana, “Listen, we’ll go be your escorts and get pictures taken and stuff, but you take Brittney to Breadsticks, Puck and I are going to Fat Jack’s. We always go to Fat Jack’s after we win a game and we are going to win Saturday. We’ll meet you here out front and come in together. But I don’t want to be, ah, advantageous to who I date. I’m not a… what’s that word like a purse or a bracelet?”

“Accessory,” Noah said, “an accessory. You want to be important to who you date because you’re you, not what you can do for them.”

“Yeah, that. We like you, both of you and we can hang out and have fun, but we don’t want to date you, er, well I don’t,” Finn said.

Noah said, “Take it or leave it ladies.”

“You’re turning down sex,” Santana said with scorn.

Finn said, “He’s worth more than sex. He’s a good person and if someone doesn’t realize that, they don’t deserve to be with him.”

“No fighting,” Brittney said, “I’d rather date Santana any way.” She linked arms with Santana and said, “I’ll pay at Breadstick’s.”

“Quinn will be there with her date,” Santana explained patiently to Brittney, “If people see us there without dates they’ll think were losers.”

“Only if you think you’re losers,” Noah said, “otherwise they’ll think you’re two beautiful girls having dinner. And you can tell them you’re meeting us at the dance because unlike Kip, we were busy winning a football game. We’re going to wear suits, suits you’re not ashamed to be seen with us in. And Brittney is such a good dancer Finn won’t be able to step on her toes.”

“So Britt will be with Finn?” Santana said, leeringly.

Noah leaned in and whispered in her ear, again in Spanish, “He’s mine. Touch him and die.”

“Since when did you learn Spanish, it certainly wasn’t from Schue,” Santana said.

Noah leaned back and said, “Well you taught me all the bad words.”

The bell rang and the girls went one way and since they were late anyway he and Finn wandered a bit aimlessly toward English. Finn asked, “What did you say to Santana?”

“I told her I was going to fucking cut her and she needed to stay away from you,” Noah said, “Listen even if what we’re doing doesn’t work out, we’re going to be friends, I will always have your back. Santana’s a friend but she has baggage, more baggage than United Airline. Do not sleep with her. She’s not happy about a lot of shit, and she really needs friends but until she gets her head on straight, she’s just striking out and it makes her mean and I don’t trust her not to hurt you. I mean hurt you on purpose, not the normal boneheaded shit we all do to each other while we’re trying to figure out life and sex and well, everything.”

Finn said, “I really don’t want you sleeping with her.”

“I won’t, even if we weren’t doing the dating thing. I don’t want to hurt her and I think in the long run it would, she needs to figure some stuff out and it would just cloud the issue and… I don’t know I don’t want to be part of her problem, and I don’t want her striking out at me either,” Noah said.

They both slipped into class late with Finn doing that adorable hapless ‘Sorry’ mouthed exaggeratedly to the teacher as they took their seats. At practice that day Finn and he dragged Kurt inside early and started to show him how to use some of the weight machines. How Hummel worked out in the amount of layers he wore was a mystery. The actual football uniform with pads covered less that what his workout clothes did. Noah was pretty sure he had three shirts on, a short sleeved tee over a long sleeved tee, probably over an undershirt of some sort, and there might be tights under the yoga pants under the gym shorts. Finn and he were only wearing tank tops and gym shorts, well with jock straps underneath.

Once they got Kurt set up on a leg press, Finn started reps at the preacher curl bench with free weights for his arm and Noah worked his abs on the power tower. Kurt was resting between sets and Matt came and asked him, “Kurt, are you taking Mercedes to the dance?”

Noah was in the zone, not even counting his reps just feeling the burn in his abs and shoulders which was good because it kept him from laughing out loud. He had forgotten how oblivious Matt always remained to the drama of glee club. He was a smart guy but he just ignored pretty much anything that didn’t directly impact him. Kurt was looking at him incredulously and then shook himself and said, “Ah, no I hadn’t intended to go. Oh, my God it’s Thursday, are you planning on calling her tonight or waiting until school tomorrow to ask her you cultural ignoramus!”

“Call her now,” Noah said, easing himself down from the power tower. “Kurt has her number. Say, Mercedes it’s Matt from glee club, I know its shamefully late notice but I just found out I’m obligated to attend the Homecoming Dance and I would be really grateful if you would consent to be my arm candy. She’ll probably have to check with her parents so let her know you’re going with Mike and that junior from his AP English. You are right? And give her a pick up time at least a half hour before you have to be at dinner or wherever you and Mike are going because her parents might be the type that takes pictures.”

Matt got Mercedes number and left and Finn moved to a different station and asked, “how come you’re not going, you’re going to be on the winning team, you should come celebrate. I bet Rachel would go with you if you asked her like Puck told Matt to ask Mercedes. Hey, should I have given you more notice than I did?” He said looking at Noah where he stretched through his cool down.

“We just found out we were going today, besides, I think it’s fair to say we’re at the point you can assume I’m a sure thing,” Noah said.

Kurt looked confused his gaze swaying back and forth from Finn to Puck and then he seemed to shake it off and said, “I don’t want to give Rachel the wrong impression, I made that mistake with Mercedes and ended up with a brick though my windshield.”

“Women. Right?” Noah said, “I think if your upfront and told her that you wanted to just go as friends – and took a firm stance that she has to leave her crazy at home and, you know, make sure she knows that even if there is a microphone in the gym during the dance she’s to maintain a minimum safe distance from it of at least twenty feet, you could have a good time and dances are big deals for girls. Guys would be happier to stay home, eat pizza and play video games but girls care. The trauma of not being asked to school dances lingers long, well past middle age. Because I’ve banged the bitter shrews who are still pissed some football player never asked them.”

“Would you rather we stay home and play video games?” Finn asked.

Noah said, “In a heartbeat bro, but Santana would fucking end us and while I could take her if I saw her coming, you know she would bitch jump me and take out my junk with those scary ass talons of hers.”

“I’m so glad I’m not straight,” Kurt said, and then gasped and covered his mouth as if he couldn’t believe that he said it.

Finn just nodded in commiseration as if that was something he heard every day and Noah said, “Yeah, not exactly a surprise there, dude. And you’re not the first guy, straight or gay that Santana’s made reevaluate their feelings on females – I mean she’s smoking hot but has her own brand of crazy, but then so do all women. Men know this, it’s just that some of us are lead around by our dicks more than others.”

“I think we all get led around by our dicks,” Finn said and paused to take a drink from his water bottle, “the only difference is in whose using them as a carry handle – I mean Quinn and her whole ‘if you do this I’ll let you touch my boobs’ made me feel I was… I don’t know, trying to buy a used car?”

“Dude, she will fucking end you if ever it gets back to her you even had that thought, don’t die, I had plans for after that dance,” Noah said.

Finn asked, “What kind of plans?”

“Sleep over? Hanging out in our underwear playing video games all day?” Noah asked.

Finn said, “What about Mike’s voice lessons.”

“You’re confused because the game is on Saturday not Friday, we have to skip the lessons this week, so we only get Sunday to do nothing and I wanted to do nothing with you,” Noah said.

Finn blushed and said, “Cool, my place? I’ll tell my mom.”

“I’ll tell Rabbi,” Noah said and turned when he heard Kurt choking.

 

 


End file.
